Nice Girls May Finish Last, But They Finish Best

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Amanda B. GoodmanWhat is it about being a woman that makes us so comparative? We’re constantly comparing ourselves to one another and often times devaluing ourselves in the process. Women have had to struggle throughout history to prove themselves worthy of fitting in with the famous “boys club” in the entertainment industry and beyond. If we’re supposed to stand tall against the oppression against our sex, then why do we so easily pick each other apart? I, like most women, have had to deal with my own fair share of “mean girls” and not the Tina Fey everything’s-fetch-in-the-end sort of way. In fact, I was in high school when Mean Girls came out, I actually had one of my mean girls call me a “fugly slut” in the hallway.

I was always a little bit different growing up; a little quirky and constantly dancing to beat of my own drum. And I’m still like that today. And like in previous articles, I embrace those things because they’re what work for me in my career. One of the things that I’ve always practiced was killing my critics with kindness. Being called a “fugly slut” by anyone but Tina Fey is clearly not meant to be a compliment. But in that moment, when that girl, who I will refer to in this article as Snickerdoodle, called me a “fugly slut”, I actually laughed because it was so unoriginal and lame, that how could I take that as a personal attack to my person when she could barely walk and talk at the same time without twirling her hair as if she were milking a cow? Long story short, she was mean, but she was unoriginally mean. Throughout history, mean girls have existed. Usually their attacks are aimed at those they find to be inferior to them. In reality, it’s usually because they feel inferior to themselves. This can cause us to second guess our own self worth.

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In the entertainment industry, there is an alarmingly long list of mean girls who top the A-List pyramid. From nasty Twitter wars to not tipping their servers, some famous females forget that karma is a very real thing. And for those in the industry like myself, who are in the stages of branding themselves and trying to break in on the merit of their work, should know that being unkind gets you remembered…in the worst way. Actresses who are cutthroat sometimes see results faster in Hollywood than the kinder ones who work their “fugly slut” butts off to achieve something great. But these are not the careers that last.

I like to compare it to the old fable of the Tortoise and Hare. The Hare speeds through the early part of the race by being cutthroat and uber-confident. Because of this, he naps thinking the rest of the race is his to win. He fails to allow himself to learn anything new, which ultimately bites him in the furry Snickerdoodle-looking butt in the end. The Tortoise, however, takes his time. He allows himself to go on a journey and in the process beats the Hare because he was patient and kind, and knew that karma would affect Tortoise in more ways than one.

Women in Hollywood who are mean or shoot to superstardom by putting other women down aren’t the winners of the race in the end. If you believe in what you are doing as a woman in any industry, know that kindness carries you a long way, even if takes you longer to get to the end of the race than a meaner counterpart. The Snickerdoodle’s of the world realize that when it’s too late.

In honor of my observations on mean girls, I’ve compiled my list of Top Movie Mean Girls and to show what happens when you’re mean in a Hollywood movie:

1.) Regina George – Mean Girls (Played by Rachel McAdams).

Worst Moment: Releasing a scrapbook filled with vicious writings about her classmates that she had a hand in writing, yet blames her friends as the sole authors.

The Result: Regina gets hit by a bus.

2.) Courtney Shayne – Jawbreaker (Played by Rose McGowan)

Worst Moment: Stuffing a jawbreaker down her best friends throat and shoving her into the trunk of a car.

The Result: Public humiliation and assault at the Senior Prom as the crowd who elected her Prom Queen discover she murdered their admired classmate.

3.) Christie Masters – Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion (Played by Julia Campbell)

Worst Moment: Placing magnets on Michelle’s metal back brace.

The Result: ten years later she’s fat…errr…pregnant and married to her high school boyfriend whose wandering eye causes her to realize she should’ve been nicer to the weirdo’s in high school (cause weirdo’s rule the world…right?…or at least end up with their own clothes line.)

4.) Blanche and Jane Hudson – Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? (Played by Joan Crawford and Bette Davis)

Worst Moment: They each considerably could be considered mean girls seeing as how (Spoilers Ahead) Jane imprisons and starves her disabled sister Blanche; and Blanche who is in fact crippled in the first place because it’s revealed that the car crash that put her in a wheelchair was in fact because of her own jealous attempt to run over her sister. Mean mean, yet incredibly classy mean girls!

The Result: A life-long sisterly rivalry that both realize at the end could’ve been time spent celebrating each other’s successes (Actors take note) and less dead people….and a parakeet.

5.) Chris Hargenson – Carrie (Played By Nancy Allen)

Worst Moment: Prom Night…Pigs Blood…enough said.

The Result: Car flipped over via that pesky traffic jam known as Carrie’s telekinesis.

You see ladies? Being nice does pay off in more ways than one. So be kind to yourself, and others because the right people will take notice…and you won’t get killed by Carrie.

Amanda Goodman

About Amanda Goodman

Actress/Writer/Comedian - Amanda first fell in love with the art of making people laugh in the 2nd grade when she and another classmate entered into their class vaudeville night by doing a stand-up act that ended with them getting pied in the face (literally). Since then, she's studied acting all over New York including private teachers, master classes at The Stella Adler Studio, and The Upright Citizens Brigade. She is the star and creator of her own original web sketch comedy show "Goody's Goodies", and host of the Podcast "Green Pod". She also writes short horror fiction, and completed her first full-length horror novel "The Ansford Chiller", which she hopes will one day be able to scare the pants off of pants-wearers for years to come. She loves cupcakes of all shapes and sizes, Chris Farley movies, and the French word pampelmoose. Follow her mis-adventures on Twitter @ABGoody and www.amandabgoodman.com.