The moment you start producing your own content, you automatically become the boss of your own “company”. Unfortunately, being a boss means that sometimes you need to make tough decisions and have tricky conversations. For me personally, having these tricky conversations about everything ranging from money to creative differences, has been one of the hardest things about being a producer and content creator. I never had ambitions of becoming the boss or CEO of a company, but once I started producing work I soon realized that this was part of my new job, whether I liked it or not.
I think the reason why I’ve struggled with this so much is that I used to be an extreme people pleaser. I wanted everyone to like me. I had no idea how to have tough conversations that could remain constructive, so if I had a disagreement with someone, I would either defer to their opinion entirely and let them walk all over me or I would get into an all-out war with them and wind up cutting that person out of my life completely.
Because of my social anxiety over being assertive, I’ve done a ton of work on myself to help combat these feelings. Below are three of my favorite books that have helped me on my way.
Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It By Lois P. Frankel & Carol Frohlinger
This is a follow up to the book Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office, which is also excellent and worth reading. What I love about these books is that they teach you so many practical strategies about asserting yourself. You can find a strategy for almost any situation you may face, in both business and your personal life. Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It guides you through ninety-seven tactics for standing up for yourself and getting what you want.
The Power of a Positive No By William Ury
This book does a great job of acknowledging that saying “no” can often be hard. But it then goes on to teach you how a “NO” can be turned from a negative into a positive, not just for yourself but also for the person on the receiving end of the “no”.
Presence By Amy Cuddy
Cuddy wrote this book after her fantastic TED talk on the same topic went viral. (Check it out here.) This book explores how changing your body language can drastically change the way others see you and the way you see yourself.