In the spirit of full transparency, I want to share with you all a true story that happened to me. On a lazy Sunday afternoon I did a quick video exercise aimed at helping you upping your game professionally. I took notes during the exercise and thought it would be great to share with others. I whipped up an article about it, submitted it, and thought nothing of it. But thank goodness for having a strong Ms. In the Biz team around me. I hadn’t properly credited the creator of the video/exercise in my article. Although completely unintentional – it literally hadn’t even occurred to me to do so – my article could have been viewed as plagiarism. After the initial shock and to be honest, embarrassment, wore off, we worked to correct the article and alas, all is well.
One small yet possibly disastrous oversight could have called the integrity of the rest of my work into question and as a creative professional there is nothing worse than that. After this incident I had to sit back and reflect – how can I, a seasoned professional, have made such a rookie mistake? All I had to do was re-watch the video to see the similarities but I was just too comfortable and didn’t do my due diligence. I had to ask myself: where else in my life and career was I acting like a rookie instead of the professional that I am?
Two answers came to mind:
#1 Being a slave to the scale: In reality, I am a healthy and fit young woman. But I still get those self-limiting thoughts from time to time:
- “Am I too fat to be an actress?”
- “If I lost 10 pounds would I be booking more?”
- “I need to be skinny like X actress or Y model to fit in.”
- “When I lose weight, things will change for me.”
Of course, all of these thoughts are absurd and it doesn’t get any more amateur than tying my self-worth and value to a number on the scale. The professional knows that self-worth and value comes from within and nothing – not even the scale – should have the power to make me feel less than and not good enough.
Why correct it: Allowing these self-limiting thoughts to overtake your mind leads to self-sabotage and low self-esteem. How can others buy into you being a strong professional woman if you don’t value yourself for who are rather than what the scale says? The only person responsible for your self-worth is you, so remember to take care of yourself – both inside (mentally) and outside (physically).
#2 Living in the past, regret, and the land of “What ifs”: There are times when I find myself wondering:
- “What if I stayed with that agent?”
- “What if I moved to LA instead of staying in New York?”
- “What if I didn’t break up with that on-again/off-again ex?”
- “What if I started my career earlier?”
Living in the past and dwelling on regrets is a lot like worrying – it gives you something to do but it gets you nowhere. I usually end up feeling confused and a bit sad after mulling over my life’s ‘shoulda, woulda, couldas.’ The professional knows that the past is over. You are where you are for a reason. We only have the present and what we do to move forward in our future is what truly matters.
Why correct it: Dwelling on the ‘what ifs’ of your past paralyzes you – you can’t change it and you end up feeling stuck and depressed rather than inspired and motivated to act. Instead, focus on the “What is” and the “What can be.” Dream, set goals, make a plan, and act – you control the now and the trajectory of the future. The past is in the past for a reason.
But if you know anything about me, I’m not about the doom and gloom of mistakes. When life gives you lemons make lemonade
Here are three lessons I’ve learned that help me cope when I make rookie mistakes in my professional and personal life. (And don’t forget, double check, double check, double check.)
Lesson #1: Forgive.
At the end of the day we are human and are bound to make mistakes, forget to double check, have days where we feel fat and miss our ex-boyfriends. The way I got over my rookie article mistake was to forgive myself. I made a mistake, I owned it, and corrected it. I could have wallowed in it and allow the mistake deter me from writing, but I have an empire to build and mistakes are inevitable. I’m human.
Lesson #2: Learn.
Never again will I be too comfortable or too busy to do my due diligence and double check to make sure everything is in order – from my articles, hosting gigs, films, etc. Learning from your mistakes is what leads to true wisdom – having an experience and being strong enough to ask: “What is this experience trying to teach me? How can I use this to add value to my life and the lives of those that I touch?”
Side note: I’ve also learned that the jerky ex-boyfriend never changes – don’t regret the break up, instead use that energy toward your work, exercising, and becoming the best version of you possible.
Lesson #3: Move on.
The power of forgiveness and learning is that it allows us to move on in your life in healthy and prosperous ways. So when you make a mistake, allow yourself to feel it for a moment, forgive yourself, learn what that experience was trying to teach you, and keep on keeping on. Will those rookie mistakes and thoughts still occur? Of course, but as a professional, I will recognize them, address them head on, and make some lemonade.