We all know this, right? Long distance relationships – of any sort – are hard. Romantic, friendly, familial, you name it – it’s not easy to be a long way from people you care about and want to be closer to.
I live in the UK. 8 Sided Films is based in LA.
I tend to avoid talking about it, because doing so always means having to explain how it works, and usually I wind up pretending that there are no issues and everything is perfect. That’s far from the truth, though, and there’s something about the holiday period which makes me think about it more, so here we are.
Without current technology and the internet I would never have known these folks, much less gotten to work with them, and I wouldn’t change that for anything but…it’s hard. Really hard – both practically and emotionally.
I don’t know about you, but I find it really difficult to motivate myself without something to drive me. That’s much less of a problem when I’m around people also driving in the same direction. When I’m on my own on my laptop, a long way from everyone else, however, that gets difficult. Things I would do with pleasure become a chore. Striking out in a new direction or doing something new feels like climbing a mountain instead of a hill. I really struggle when I don’t feel connected to a core group of people with whom I can share the passion and the work and the fun and the pain.
Working on my own, which is how it feels most of the time, is something I find really, really hard.
Having a creative team, and a lot of creative friends, but not being near enough to them to actually create things, is frustrating on the best of days. I’ve found it worse than having nobody to create with. When things are happening I can’t be involved with, or when I have something I can’t do for no other reason than distance – it can eat at me, especially when I see no end to this problem. Times like that are when I consider quitting.
I often feel like I’m working in a separate bubble to the rest of them, and I can see all the things I could be also doing if I wasn’t so far away. I feel out of the loop, because I AM out of the loop.
On top of which, there is the fact that a lot of the people I know way over there are like family to me. They’re all where they can see each other, hang out, do fun things, work together, etc., and I’m over here where I get none of that. As great as the internet is for Skype and email and social media and so on, none of it can replace simple hanging out in the company of the people you love. That’s hard.
Sometimes the urge to stomp my feet and complain about how unfair it is becomes almost irresistible – and if it would help, I’d do it in a second! As it would just make everybody else feel bad, I choose to keep that urge to myself (mostly).
There is one thing I know for certain though – take this stuff away from me, and I lose the things (and some of the people) that I love most. Without them, I would be rather more despairing of life. With them, I get to use and enjoy all of it.
And I do. I enjoy it. I love it. If I didn’t, I couldn’t deal with the distance and everything that goes with it. I wouldn’t give it up for anything, but I have to re-make that decision over and over again – using the reminder of the things I have done so far, and the things that the future hopefully holds.
Distance is the thing, or the cause of the things, I find most difficult right now. I’m sure you all have your own things, and I’m sure they change over time as circumstances alter, as this will.
It’s hard. Really hard. But I have seen 2013 do many great things for very talented and deserving friends and colleagues, and I see 2014 holding plenty more. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.
Happy New Year to the crazy lot of us!