BFF. Soul mate. The One. We’re lead to believe at a young age to hold on to the people that come into our lives and so long as we cultivate those relationships, they’ll be ever-lasting. Sometimes, despite the blood, sweat and tears, people disappoint, friendships fizzle out, and people grow apart. People filter in and out of our lives for a reason, and it’s up to us who stays, who goes, who’s meant to teach us, and who’s there to learn from us.
The older I get, the higher my bar gets. I’ve learned through experience to surround myself with enriching relationships and people that elevate me as a person. I will only accept love from those who challenge me to be better and believe in me more than I believe in myself. Obviously, these values are important to hold as an individual – you’re only as good as who you surround yourself with – but when you’re pursuing an exceptionally grueling career, these principles are indispensable.
Having a core support group as an artist is crucial. We willingly forge into the industry battlefield every day, facing tough competition, evading enemies (internal and external) and finding ourselves constantly winning and losing. Standing in the trenches with the wrong troops can kill more than your spirit. It could kill your ambition, your efforts, your drive and your career. When the people around you promote negativity instead of promise, it’s detrimental to your soul. A good friend of mine once told me to “weed my garden,” cease friendships or relationships that do not serve you, your goals, and your path. Sounds harsh, but the reality is we only get ONE life, and it’s YOURS, so take charge and make it work best for you. Allow yourself to demand encouragement from the company you keep; true friends are true FANS and they support your dreams, period. In reality, “weeding” is hard; breaking ties with ever-lasting friendships, and stepping away from significant others when you don’t feel championed is a poignant moment, but you will be a better person and artist for it.
You must also practice what you preach. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “It is not fair to ask others what you are not willing to do yourself.” Be a force of inspiration and urge those around you to live bravely, to embark on a path of courage and passion, support their creative soul. Hold and be held accountable for aspirations, foster each others’ talents, and make your one life worth living.