So it turns out progress takes time, and there are a lot of setbacks, and bumps along the way.
Since my last post there have been ups and downs, and ups and downs again. I know that you’ve all experienced this in your careers, and personal lives as well.
After leaving town for 10 days over the holidays, it was kind of jolting to come back. I came back at a time when the industry was in it’s hibernation, which gave me a week to sit and think. – which for me isn’t always the best thing. I find I am much happier “doing.”
Since then my year has been moving along at a slow crawl’s pace. Pilot season is a non issue for those of us without representation, I know this and try not to dwell in what I am missing out on, and I use this time to try to get all of my ducks in a row so to speak. I did say try to get them in a row, it’s been a struggle to be honest. I find myself feeling like I need a break, and it’s the first month of the year, this is a bit unsettling. I think I still have some fight in me and I am digging deep to try to find it and hold on to it. I want to be as open in these posts as I can, because I know others out there are struggling as well, and I’ve always felt some comfort knowing it’s not just me going through these things.
I have always fought to love the business side of show business. I have set goals and essentially games for myself, with rewards, to keep my brain focused on the marketing/management side of things. It’s becoming more of a chore to me lately. In lieu of having representation, you have to be your own rep. Get auditions for yourself, choose your own shots and reel clips, come up with creative ways to try to get into rooms you’d otherwise have no access to. At times this can be a fun challenge; at times. So like I said I am digging deep to find the motivation to keep up the business game. I know I need to stay focused on this in order to put myself in a place to accomplish my goal this year of a tier jump. I have been faithfully submitting through the self submission sites, and I have also been self submitting to feature films I have found that are currently casting. I am using this great program called Banana Tag. You can find it and download it here. You need to use Gmail to run the program effectively. Basically it adds a hidden tag to the email, so that you can see if it is opened. It will also let you know if they links you have put in the email have been clicked through. The person receiving the email has no idea it’s been tagged, it isn’t like a newsletter program, it’s invisible. So, I have been finding CD emails of the projects I have found and putting myself out there and sending them a very short introduction email with links to my reel/headshots/resume. I have had luck with people opening them, but haven’t had any response yet. Try and try again I will.
Another thing I said I was going to do was Vlog everyday…. let me just say I have not done this. I did it 3 times at the beginning of the month and then just stopped. I am going to try to pick that back up again. I have never done it before, and I am thinking that like everything else it’s a muscle, you have to convince yourself to do the reps, then eventually you like the outcome so you don’t have to force yourself to do it.
On the craft side of things, I am taking class at Lesly Kahn and after a struggle through the intensive in December, I am finding that I really like the clinic. I am in a class of all women, which is pretty great, everyone is super supportive and I feel lucky to be a part of it. I know I have a lot to learn and a lot to work on, and I am hoping to expand my abilities there. It is actually helping me focus on the actual acting work, which I think I was loosing sight of because I was spending so much energy on the business. In a crossover endeavor I am working on sides to take to CD workshops, that is the next frontier. I’ll report back on how that goes as things progress. It will be my first attempt at these workshops.
I know our lives are a balancing act, and I need to find the appropriate amount of Show and Business that works for me. Keeping yourself inspired, and focused is really hard to do and I say way to go to anyone out there that is finding that balance and enjoying the journey of it all. I will leave you with that, and hopefully have some exciting news next month to share.