You saw it. It’s in your head. Someone hated your movie, or your performance… they thought you should dig a hole, crawl in it and never show your face again… and most likely you are thinking, where can I get a shovel? Criticism of our artwork is very painful and can give the most seasoned artist self-doubt. Well ladies, I’m here to tell you… we are all in the same boat and we have ALL read bad things about ourselves, or a project we helped create. (And if you haven’t, unfortunately at some point in your career… you probably will). Here are a few tips that will help you keep your head up high.
1) Think about the source.
If someone is willing to write something mean or nasty on the Internet… they are probably a pretty miserable person. Maybe this person is someone that sits at their computer wishing that they could be a filmmaker or actor… but never had the courage to do so. Another possibility is that the “troll” is a young kid or teenager, who doesn’t have the mental capacity to understand how their words affect others. The truth is, we are following a career path that is envied by many, but understood by few. The Internet bullies don’t understand the blood, sweat and tears that go into each project we create, or help create, they most likely think we are hanging out in our decked-out trailers, eating sushi and bonbons between takes. You are the one with the courage to put your face or your name on a project… it’s a vulnerable position, but one that we ALL do… and so often the ones with the meanest comments are hiding behind the anonymity of a made-up username. Be proud of your courage, and remember what Taylor said, “Haters going to hate, hate, hate….” It’s part of who they are, don’t let it affect you and “shake it off”.
2) Think about the comment.
What did they say, and why does it hurt? If the comment is something about physical appearance, (I have read that one of my movies had ugly chicks, another one the girls looked “old”, while none were over 26). Okay – they said it. It stings, yes. Comments of this nature are obviously coming from a very hateful place, and most likely are making the author feel better about them, by tearing down someone else. In reality, the comments have little to do with the performers or product. There are many reasons why someone would attack an actress’ looks on the Internet, come on ladies… we all braved middle school… It doesn’t always have to make sense. Sometimes people are just nasty, jealous and spiteful and it’s more about them, than about you. Is the comment about the story or performance? Remember, sometimes we don’t reach everyone… sometimes people don’t get it, or don’t like it, not everyone enjoys the same stuff… it’s okay. We can’t please everyone. If you find some small amount of truth to a comment, then reflect and try and fix the problem in the next project you do.
3) Write it down.
I’ve read some really frustrating reviews and comments about several of my movies or performances… some that I just want to respond to (and sometimes I want to use some strong language). We all have those moments. Rather than engage the author of the review or comment… write a letter to them, express your feelings, … get it all out… and then burn it. We express ourselves in our art and then are critiqued… and while it’s okay to defend your art, sometimes it’s better not to engage the Internet authors. It’s okay to let it go… because most likely paragraph 1 and 2 are the case, and these are people that are just trying to make themselves feel better, and be hurtful. So write it out, get nasty, get it out, and burn it!
4) Don’t forget, you’re not alone!
As I mentioned before, we all experience this type of thing… so when you read something not so nice, think about all of your Ms. In The Biz contributors and readers who have your back, and who understand what you’re going through! If something is particularly bothering you, send me a message… I’ll make you feel better, and go after those online bullies.