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It’s Not Me, It’s You: The Quest to Conquer My Food Intolerances


AlexSantoriIt may sound odd. But, I’ve always been a little jealous of those people that could fit all of their belongings in one car, or hell, even one suitcase. Because, to me, it meant that they are where they are at because they actively chose to be there. Make sense? They are there on purpose and weren’t tied down by the responsibility of “things”. They had with them, just the essentials, and they liked it that way. And with that in mind, I ask you; why, oh why do I still own that pink cardigan from 7 years ago? It’s just packed away somewhere, doing absolutely nothing but taking up space, in my closet and in my life. OK, so I first wore it when I filmed something. How sweet and sentimental… And? What is it doing for me now? Beyond that, I have an apartment filled with things that I don’t use. I’ll even dare to stretch this metaphor even farther than that to claim that I even have people in my life that just seem to “take up space”.

What’s that? OH. You’re wondering why this “fitness/nutrition blogger” is writing about closets and pink sweaters? Well, don’t get your panties in a bunch; I’m getting there. Plus, I got you to read up until this point. So, there. Sucker. 😉 (Also, how dare you pigeon-hole me! Harrumph.)

If any of you know me in my non-virtual life, you know that my relationship with food intolerances could rival that of a spoiled only child and a newly arrived stepmom. (I think that my body might be the bratty child in this made up scenario).  And I’ve decided that I’ve been ignoring the slamming doors and temper tantrums for far too long. It’s time to set some house rules. But before I can do that. I need to find out what works and what doesn’t.

So, this meandering article has finally led us all to the point; I’ve decided to do an “Elimination Diet”. (::shudder:: I hate the D word. But, in this case I’ll make an exception.) The Elimination Diet is essentially a science experiment with your body. The first step is to get a base line by removing all known and suspected problem foods from your diet. (You spend a bit of time in this Phase One; just to make sure that all that bad juju is cleared out.) Then, one by one, you add these foods back in while noting and tracking any adverse effects. Since this whole damn process takes a long time (2-4 months) I might spend my next article on this as well. I could write pages and pages on this stuff, and I’m sure that I’ll learn even more along the way, however, my butt is getting numb sitting in this chair. So, meet me here next time and we’ll go into a bit more detail. But, for now, I’ll stick with my metaphors.

I’m only two weeks in but, holy crap, I’m feeling a hell of a lot better than I did before. More energy, happier, better skin, etc. I’m also going to simultaneously apply this “streamlining” to my every day life. I want to see how many aspects of my life I can strip down. Only keep the important stuff. That is to say; only keep the things, the food, and the people that work for me. Keep the ones that actually improve the quality of my emotional, mental, and physical life. I want just the stuff that fits into my allegorical suitcase.

Because, am I really losing anything if I donate that pink sweater? I mean… Really?

Alex Santori

About Alex Santori

Alex Santori grew up in the mid-west as the youngest child in a wonderful family. She now lives in Los Angeles working part time as an actress, singer, writer, and blogger. She also works full time as a spy in the International Secret Service. Tell no one.