I have been thinking a lot about my career here in LA, and my life in general, over the past several months. Trying to be proud of how far I have come, and the achievements I have made. But unable to let go of where I think I want to go and how the hell to get there.
When I really think about it, I have to admit that I push myself pretty hard. I try to set goals – small measurable goals – and I really work my ass off to meet them. As we all know, in this industry sometimes it doesn’t matter how hard you work, things just don’t go the way you see them going. I was working myself into quite a rut, and to be honest a funk. I was so immersed in what I was doing, what I wasn’t doing, what I should be doing. I was putting a hell of a lot of pressure on myself, and acting started to become less fun for me. I started to question if I was chasing the right dream.
You have two options when this happens in your life: you push on the way you have been or you change something. Sometimes I am too damn stubborn to change things. I need them changed for me. I had the opportunity to take a job on the east coast last week. It was very last minute and I decided to take it. Being that summer is deadly slow for me usually, I didn’t think I’d be missing too terribly much here. A week without submitting on Actors Access or LA Casting, a week without prepping for an audition, a week without worrying that I should be at a networking event or researching my next class – I have to say it was pretty nice to take a step back and just breathe. I was reluctant to leave town, worried about what opportunities I might be missing. But what I got out of the trip was worth anything I may have missed.
I got back late on Friday night and had to spring into action very early on Saturday morning. I hosted my second Deck-O-Park. If you haven’t had a chance to check out the website why not take this moment… http://www.deckopark.com/ click on the logo you’ll get all the juicy details there. I continued on this industry break through the weekend. I took a long hike in the San Gabriel Mountains on Sunday then had a lovely dinner at the Lazy Ox.
Today I spent the day getting my life back in order after a week away and things felt… good.
As I ran errands all over town I noticed buildings and open spaces I had previously skipped over. I thought about my weekend and how lucky I am to live in such a beautiful place with such amazing friends. I felt oddly renewed and ready to take this industry on again; to give my 110%. I found out that it is good to leave once in a while to gain some perspective because we all get so used to what we have that we can’t see it from the outside anymore. I know how hard it is to keep going when you feel like all of your hard work isn’t getting you any closer to your ultimate goals. When you feel like you are treading water, even when good things are happening, and then feeling guilty or bad about the fact that you aren’t content with your progress. If you find yourself where I found myself, I highly recommend really disconnecting even if just for a short period of time. It can restore you. I hope this new found inspiration and reinvigoration will provide me with some new adventures this month so I can share them with you.