When I was first starting out and had no experience, every time I would lose a job I would ask myself why I was trying so hard. Sometimes it just didn’t seem fair. I was finding myself in a catch 22 situation constantly. How to get the job when I wasn’t in the union but couldn’t get in the union because I didn’t have a union job. It was frustrating and many times I wanted to quit. Then a small voice would ask me what I would do if I gave up? What were my options? And the answer to that was there wasn’t any. I decided no matter what I was going to figure it out.
And I did. Little by little I would win small victories that would get me closer to something else. Don’t get me wrong. I still lost a job or was disappointed but I never let them win. I mean the voices in my head. I kept telling myself that there was a way to do anything and I just had to figure it out.
As a beginning makeup artist I tested with photographers for pictures to put into my portfolio. Any opportunity I got whether it paid or not I took. I met people and learned my craft from some of the best by just being there. Was it hard financially? Absolutely. I can’t tell you how many jobs I had to pay the rent but just kept moving ahead. I finally got into Local 798 (NYC) and started working on soaps and news shows. It wasn’t what I wanted to do initially but it taught me invaluable lessons of not just doing make up but how to conduct myself on a set. That was a lesson learned that wasn’t in any books. And I learned how to listen. I learned how to listen to the people I was working with and decided if where I was working was where I wanted to be.
At one point I decided I wanted to work in Europe in runway and editorial. I wanted photos in my portfolio from foreign magazines. I didn’t know anyone and had one connection in NYC that gave me a name. I didn’t even speak French but was determined to find a way to experience a fashion show as a makeup artist. My first show was as an assistant at Thierry Mugler. I will never forget the feeling of hearing the music start to play and seeing the models walk down the runway and I was a part of it. Those are the small victories that kept me going.
Now after working in the business for many years and experiencing everything I thought I wanted to do, I keep telling myself that regardless of what is happening in the business today I can figure it out. I know that deep down I can do whatever I put my mind to. Is this Pollyanna thinking? Absolutely! I think it’s vital especially today. I refuse to listen to all the naysayers that are determined to tell me it’s not possible. Regardless of what you are doing in the business there are so many ways to get out there and discover. It doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. The internet is a fantastic haven for information from articles to videos. It just takes time and determination. Not to say every now and then luck can come into the picture but I really believe you make your own luck. The hard work and talent over time seems to blend together and luck appears. You often wonder how people can work for so long and how they have the stamina to keep going. As I said in the beginning quitting is not an option. Failure is just a steppingstone to learn what not to do and move on. You will know it’s not right for you if you trust your gut and listen to the voice that tells you the right direction. That’s the voice out of the many I have learned to trust.
There are still no guarantees. But if nothing else, I am constantly looking for ways to make it in a freelance crazy world. What it has taught me after not having a full time job for many years is to not only be creative in my work but also be creative in how to get the work.