As a marketing professional, I have worked in large and small organizations where the strategy has been to “bash” the competition. Trash talk the product from cars to restaurants or the person in your office, on-set, or in politics. You run into competition in all phases of your daily life, it’s how you gracefully accept it and be your authentic self that will help you rise above it and be seen as an unique, not an enemy of state or someone who gives away their success.
When I was thirteen, I had a growth spurt; making me even taller than most boys my age. I used to walk kind of hunched over so I appeared shorter or at least at the same height as boys in my school. One day I was at my BFF’s house at a swim party and a lot of boys showed up. My friend’s mom saw how I changed my stature and she pulled me aside and said, “Stephanie, never try to hide something from the people who are around you, it will only make it stand out more.” She told me to be myself, that by changing to hide what I perceived to be a flaw, I was only pointing a neon light to it and everyone would see it, when maybe only one would have noticed on their own. That advice has been something I have always remembered and followed.
Now let’s think about products where companies bash other company’s product features, they are only pointing a finger back to their own inadequacies and not only create a negative vibe for the customer but a bad reputation in the industry. Who can trust someone who isn’t authentic about who or what they represent? Or what if you are producing a film project or event and you got a celebrity that would be considered a coup to come to your event which is still months away but you can’t wait to tell everyone.
Timing is everything.
Being excited about securing talent or venue is good, but knowing what to say publicly and when to say it, is better. In some circles over-sharing too soon can be seen as flaunting or worse, a way that a competitive producer can upstage your film project or event with something they are doing that might be similar to yours. Maybe even reaching out to your talent and getting them to come on board, further diluting the buzz around your project.
It can be scary to be “authentic” all the time.
Being your authentic self begins with knowing who you are, what your competencies are, what your feelings and values are as well as how others see you. Knowing what to talk about and how to phrase it can help or hurt you in any given situation. You can accidently create competitive situations for your life and career by over-sharing too much in your social (IRL and online) networks.
Think about the number of people using social media today; friends connected plus their friends connected on the fringe seeing snippets and conversations. Do you really want all of your opinions or business matters out there? Personal or professional, how you are seen can be misconstrued, especially if you are always sharing everything. It’s understandable to be excited about things and share. If you’re excited about an upcoming interview, speaking engagement, award you are up for, or audition or sales meeting and share it too soon, you may be opening the door for creating opportunities for others who are in your same field.
Don’t Look Like a Braggart
Have you ever scrolled through your Facebook or Twitter feeds to find a few posts from people bragging about an opportunity that you may think you should have gotten or you want to do too? What about someone who posts a $2,500 pair of shoes and says “I’m thinking about buying these. Tell me why I shouldn’t.” Only you think they’re cute and want a pair too only to get sticker shock when you click through to see their price and then feel inadequate and small. Maybe their bragging makes them so unappealing to you that you exclude them from friendship when they were just lacking the confidence to be their authentic selves or they failed to think about what they were saying and how it could adversely affect their world.
There is a study out of Harvard that states about 80% of our social media posts are about us telling others about what we are doing and how we think and feel. There are scientific reasons for this that involve the brain and mesolimbic dopamine system including nucleus accumbens and the ventral tegmental area of the brain so you’ll feel better about yourself but we’ll save that for another time.
Don’t be a Victim of the Overshare
This post isn’t about encouraging you to hide who you are, but to be confident and thoughtful about your brand. Being authentic is being who you are without having to always be sharing. Protecting your brand does not mean you can’t share, but knowing what to share and how and when to share it can make or break some of the successes that are destined to be yours. Remember this, with social networking you are sharing with people you do business with and your friends. Professionally speaking, some things should not be “generally” shared openly on social networks where anyone can see it; and shared especially when it could stop a future opportunity from coming your way.
Take a few more moments to watch this TED Talk from Mike Robbins talking about the power of authenticity.
The Power of Authenticity: Mike Robbins