I have a lot to reflect on as I am writing to you for the last time this year. Not only is it time for 2013 to become 2014 but I will also be celebrating my 30th birthday at the end of the month. As with so many milestones in life I have my mixed feelings on the subject. But I can say with clarity that I have made many mistakes but my regrets are few. At the very bottom of things I am proud to be the person that I am today and I am somewhat blessed to have traveled the weird and confusing path that brought me here.
I have spent the entire year steadfast and focused on my career and what a year it has been. I set a goal to be published in two magazines, I ended up in four…waiting to hear on the fifth. On top of that meeting and working with so many people along the way who have encouraged, influenced and taught me more than I can put into words. There is a lot further to go and a lot more to discover but I believe life is about harmony and balance so I decided to take two months off and concentrate on my personal life a bit. It’s weird to say because even now as I am writing it ‘personal’ life sounds so trite.
Growing up I never really thought about wanting a personal life. I wanted blonde hair and a shiny car. I wanted a small beautiful apartment and a rack of stiletto heels. I wanted to travel to exotic places, converse with interesting people and wear fancy clothes. At one point or another I have had each and every one of these things. I can’t say they haven’t made me happy either…they definitely have. But like all things that have made me happy for the most part I’ve left them and moved on to new things. I have grown to love change and rebirth and I find something selfless and liberating in shedding ones belongings and moving into something unknown. My friends call me a gypsy. I’ve moved across the country now 3 or 4 times. When I moved to NYC I sold my car, my furniture and left everything besides Piper (my side kick cat) behind. This includes relationships and friendships.
I can’t help but thinking that maybe the only unknown experience now is one with some stability. By being so ‘free-spirited’ am I not also tied to my inevitable wandering? Is there a balance between career and personal life that works? Or do I just not want that? Maybe the reason I am the way I am is just because I like being me.
So many questions. So when my sublet ended at the beginning of the month I decided to take a little detour off the track. I packed up my furniture and put it in my storage unit. I began looking for apartments but won’t come back to New York until February. I booked a one way ticket (plus one cat) home for the holidays and began hitting up friends on the west coast to visit. So far my trip will start in Seattle then I will head to LA and maybe Las Vegas for a bit. Hopefully I will get in a week or two abroad but I look forward to not planning anything more than a week or two in advance.
I have already begun doing my research and looking up designers in the cities I will be in. I could not imagine going two months without working! Please! But one of the most exciting things about styling is you can work almost anywhere. I look forward to working with new and old contacts as well as strengthening my book through different locations.
I’d love to hear about your experiences with growth and change, moving your life, trying a different career… leave me a comment below!