Whether you’re a writer and want to show-run your own series, or you’re a producer that needs to speak up when a broadcaster isn’t quite catching the drift of what you’re attempting to accomplish, or you’re a director yelling action and cut, having to find a language and shorthand to speak with your cast and crew….or any role for that matter where you have a vision that requires the involvement of others to see it come to fruition, you need to be a strong communicator. All of these roles involve developing your own voice and making sure it’s being heard. That involves speaking succinctly, passionately, truthfully, and in thoughtful considerate ways. Communicating is an art form that only improves with time. Plain and simple!
Throughout your career you will find yourself scratching your head at intervals, walking away from interactions wondering what the hell just happened. Your point, wishes and desires seemed to have gotten lost somewhere along the way. This is a natural part of the growth process. Don’t be scared of it. And never be too frightened to ask for a second kick at the can. If your needs aren’t being met, or you’re not being heard, or you think you sucked for a few moments, take a deep breath, shake it off, and go back in for another round. Asking for another meeting or another conversation or another take is perfectly allowable. It means you’re asking for what you want and are not compromising…and most importantly you’re being accountable to yourself and the other members of your team. It’s important to make sure we are being heard properly and understood – and sometimes that rough territory just comes with the domain of having been born with breasts.
At the beginning of my career meekness ruled the day. I was scared to voice my concerns, and to fight if necessary to get my point across. It was easier to back down and not be seen as being an uncompromising b-i-t-c-h…yes that dreaded word. It took me years to figure out there was a right way and a wrong way to communicate. And my way never involved raising my voice, insulting others, or making demands people weren’t capable of meeting. That just wasn’t who I was as a person, yet I still dreaded having to go toe to toe with someone while fighting for my ideals, beliefs and vision. I got all fidgety and my eyes danced around the floor while I droned on about why I didn’t agree with the source of my angst. Once I got some years under my belt, and owned the fact I had as much right to be in the room as the next guy, things became much easier. It took some time but it happened. The more you do, the more you prove yourself, the more you begin to trust your own voice and ideas….and therefore you’re willing to fight for them.
My big first trial was on a documentary project, and one of the broadcasters was making wild requests that we could not possibly accommodate. Instead of getting into it on the telephone, I opted to write a letter instead, because that’s where I’m at my best: when I can put my ideas down succinctly and efficiently on paper. It was the longest letter in history, but I did what I set out to do, which was to get them off our backs and let us do our jobs –delivering a compelling hour of television. And we accomplished that. That taught me another thing. If you are just starting out and haven’t yet learned how to put your game face on, write an email instead. It buys you time, allows you to play around with what you want to say, and you get to make sure you’re using efficient language that can be understood by a monkey. There’s no room for confusion. I realize sometimes this isn’t possible and there is an immediacy to what’s happening and you’ve got to roll with it, but if you’ve got the luxury of a bit of time step back and formulate what it is you want to say and why. Build your argument and back it up with facts.
You should always remind yourself you have a right to be in the room and you worked your way into that opportunity. You’ve earned the right to be respected and to be heard. Your ideas are no less valuable than anyone else’s. Opinions differ…they’re just opinions. Everyone’s got one and so will you. Never be scared to throw your hat into the ring because your idea might turn out to be the best of the bunch. If not this time, then maybe next time. You may be sweating buckets at the notion of speaking up on your own behalf but it’s the only way you’ll ever win the game. If you’re standing on the sidelines watching things happen that you’re not happy about, it’s a lose lose proposition. You are letting yourself down, and whether you believe it or not you’re letting everyone else down too because you’re not giving the best of yourself. You’re not present in the proceedings.
Television and film are collaborative efforts. They are about playing as the member of a team. Whether you are leading that team or are just a member, you have a responsibility to show up every day and put in 100%. As a female member of this industry I realize that it took me longer to come to grips with the fact despite all my efforts sometimes I would have people stepping all over my toes anyway. The key is once I became more confident within myself I was no longer fearful about pointing out that fact, and asking them to stop either consciously, or sometimes unconsciously, crushing my appendages. I had to realize that it all started with me. If I didn’t speak up I was setting a bad precedence that would set the tone for the rest of the production I was working on.
Sometimes part of being a good communicator involves tough conversations – the ones you’d rather avoid. Just remember never to play the blame game. If you deal with things soon enough you aren’t a seething mess by the time you attempt to broach your concerns. Once things become personal they get ugly….and you don’t want to be dealing with ugly conversations because they are hard to recover from. If you are stating your case, “here is what I’m feeling and why”, there is no room for argument. You are just speaking facts without any finger pointing thrown in. Avoid making things personal…it’s the kiss of death. Keep your conversations about the business at hand and what is best for your project. If you can manage to keep your emotions under wraps and speak clearly and matter of factly you’ve won the battle. You will find in life that there are people who may not hear you the first time, and you may have to re-state your case again…but that’s okay. The lines of communication are still open and at least you are talking – sometimes ad nauseam, but at least you’re making your voice heard.
Depending on your personality type realize that becoming a good and efficient communicator is a skill that can be developed over time. We all don’t start out that way. Realize you are in a new arena doing things you’ve never done before and having the types of conversations you’ve never had before. Who wants to tell the craft service person the food sucks? I sure didn’t! How can you expect to get it right in the beginning? You can’t. You’ll probably cringe a few times but the process is working. You learn from making mistakes. Expect to put your foot in it a few times. I did and I survived it and moved on – with a bit more wisdom under my belt ready and prepared to face the next hurdle that came along. Use your voice and don’t be scared of it and how you might be perceived. As long as you’re not shrill and aren’t making decrees like the Gestapo trust me you’re fine!