I’m sure that at one point or another, you’ve heard this phrase uttered by someone you know: “I have a rule that I never date actors.” Hell, even I’ve said that before, and with only a modicum of intentional irony. But, I’m a raging hypocrite. So, who’s surprised?
And it’s true, the videos and articles can be funny, witty, or maybe even worthy of adorning your facebook wall. (“O.M.G.! This is toats hilar! And soooo true! LOL!”) But, really, underneath all of these jokes, we are not only devaluing our profession but, more importantly, ourselves. And, as my Mom would say, that’s not very nice. So, kids and kittens, let’s pause this self-deprecating humor for a brief second and take stock of how “toats awesome” we actually are. I’ve picked seven of the most often cited reasons for placing artists on the dating Black List, and offer my humble rebuttal.
1. “Actors are financially unstable”
So, yes, the majority of us are not yet to the point in our careers where we are “rollin’ in it”. However, we are far from unstable. It is *because* we are subject to unpredictable/multiple income streams, that we have basically been forced into understanding how to responsibly handle our finances. Splurging where we deem it necessary, and pulling back in other places in order to balance it all out. We’ve been through the droughts and we know how to stock up for winter. (These climate metaphors doing anything for ya?)
2. “They have bizarre schedules and always seem to be in state of emergency”
We are flexible and spontaneous. Some days we might stay up too late and on other days we are up and about before the sun blinks into existence. Is this really a bad thing? This allows us to be more apt to take advantage of impromptu opportunities; like to going to a surprise midnight concert that our favorite band just tweeted about. Also, a flexible schedule means higher possibility for, how the kids say, an “afternoon delight”. (Yep, I’m playing the sex card!)
State of Emergency? More like perpetual preparedness. We are used to things being thrown at us at the last minute and being expected to take it all in stride. That just sounds like a bad-ass. Trust me, you’ll want us around when the zombie apocalypse befalls us all.
3. “Always hearing ‘No’ makes them insecure”
OK. True-ish. This part does blow a little bit. No human in their right mind enjoys being turned down more often than not. However, I would argue that the constant rejection gives us not only a tougher skin, but even more importantly, we gain the ability to view someone’s opinion for what it is… an opinion. We are smart enough to know that it’s just work and to not take it too personally. (Right? Don’t you agree? Please tell me how smart I am.)
4. “They are SO self-involved”
Not any more than the average person. And I would counter point by saying that actually, good actors are proven to be some of the best listeners. We are quite literally trained to be as such. Like little intuitive monkeys, it is ingrained in us to observe and be in tune with what our partner is saying and feeling. Not only the verbal cues, but also the much more subtle nuances of the human behavior that most Normies tend to miss.
5. “Who can tell when they are lying or not?”
Yikes. If you really find yourself thinking this about your significant other, then you have bigger problems than you realize. Though, beyond that, I suppose that there can be a positive spin to this. Who else would be a better date to your work holiday party? We will laugh at all of your bosses bad jokes and listen to their tired stories with believable interest.
And, selfishly, we NEED the sincerity and genuine connection that is found in real life, in order to have something to draw from when creating for our work. Lying to you does not behoove us, in the long run.
6. “All they think about is their career”
I admit, we have willingly and energetically, chosen a very difficult career path. But, since when did it become a problem to be a goal oriented person? People with drive are the ones who get shit done. Many of us have known what we wanted to do with our lives since we were just wee lads and lasses. But, that being said, the wisest of us know that if we base our happiness solely in this tumultuous business, we will surely go insane. So, we also strive to create a stable and fulfilling life outside of the biz.
7. “They are all crazy”
Oh honey, how embarrassing for you. I think you meant to say “creative”. We seek out and take joy in experiencing new things and learning about the people and world around us. The good, the bad, the ugly, and everything in between. We don’t shy away from the difficult or scary. We crave and need all of these things. They fulfill us in one way or another. And if you come along for the ride, who knows? Maybe you’ll discover a few new passions of your own.
I’m not even going to touch on the more obvious points of why we are awesome (more empathetic, understanding, experimental, open, romantic, sexual…). In fact, we should stop trying to convince anyone who doesn’t “get it”. It’s a bit of a waste of time, don’t you think? Their loss. Truly.
::hugs::
“no one can make you feel inferior without your consent” -Eleanor Roosevelt