In case you weren’t aware of it, I’m single. As in, haven’t had a meaningful relationship, and by meaningful I mean, spent more than a few weeks getting to know each other, and at least one sort-of holiday together since about 2008-ish; if you count the pirate aka) “the very young man”, if you don’t count the pirate, than we have to say 2006-ish.
That’s how single I am.
There’s a number of reasons, both conscious and unconscious but I won’t bore you with those details in this blog. This blog is about the present moment, today, right here and now. Okay, well maybe the past few months, but that’s still pretty present.
But first, this awesome video from my favorite Shel Silverstein Book, The Missing Piece
On Valentine’s Day, I went to a really intense, heart-opening Kundalini Yoga Class, and another heart shift happened… these have been happing a lot lately, the most notable at the Rhythm and Joy Festival last fall, but this shift on Valentine’s Day was just as powerful. I don’t know how to explain it, other than it feels like something inside healed a little bit more, or something opened, or maybe something closed.. BUT there’s a definite difference.
I’ve been noticing it all around me. I’m attracting more sincere compliments out in public, and for once in my life, I’m sincerely accepting them, even going as far as to make eye-contact and genuinely thank the compliment giver. I’ve actually received flowers TWICE in the past month, something that hasn’t happened from a non-family member/friend since about 2002 (I’m serious).
I’ve also recommitted to the online dating thing, and decided that in order for it to work, I might have to respond to some of the dozens of emails sitting there. I’m enjoying it. I’m using the online dating apps for two sites (OKC) and (Sway formerly known as Let’s Date). I’m responding to more emails than not, and I’m even sending a first message of my own here and there.
I’ve gone on two recent dates. I’ve learned something valuable in terms of how dating and my career intersect. As a multi-hyphenate in the entertainment industry, I lead a really interesting life, filled with all sorts of adventures; highs and low, and I’ve always known in my heart that I would like to date/marry someone who can be a partner in my adventures, a co-pilot so to speak (sharing the lead seat depending on the task at hand), and this past month has helped me to clarify that even further.
Date #1 had a day job, with some music and filmmaking aspirations, really nice guy, who happened to catch me on a really busy, great news around every corner kinda week. I was over the moon to have someone (in the industry-and of the male persuasion), to share my good news with, but I was left feeling as if I was talking to a fan. I love my fans, I’m a fan, BUT, you don’t really want a fan in the bedroom.. well, you know what I mean. So, pretty soon, it was clear that date #1 was in the friend zone.
Date #2 had a day job, with music and acting aspirations, cute, charming guy, who seemed pretty confident with his talents and life; until he found out a little bit more about me. As I began to share, in a normal conversational way, the projects I’m working on or have worked on, it soon began to feel like one of those horrible actor networking events, where people are shoving their business cards in your face, without even taking the time to ask your name first. And so sadly, the chemistry I had been feeling, quickly fizzled.
So where does this leave me? I’m still going. I’m responding to more emails, I’m laughing at and posting the most ridiculous messages on my facebook page, and I’m holding out for my hero.
He’ll be someone that gets me, confident, yet with room to grow as a dynamic couple, and the insight, creativity, passion, and drive to see that the most successful couples out there are those that work as a team, as equals.
How bout you?
Any dating insights, tips, or funny stories to share? I wanna hear ‘em!