In No Particular: Why Your Vehicle Looks Like You Are Preparing for the Apocalypse

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AlexSantori513d95c746cc7.jpgThe recent earthquakes got me thinking a lot about being prepared. And my squirrel brain quickly made the leap to how I could apply that to my daily “actor life”.  So, my thoughts of what I would do if zombies took over southern California, eventually turned into this article for you.

Here is my list of things that you, as a performer, should have in your car/truck/stalker van at all times.

Extra Headshots/Resumes/Reels

Dude, seriously, this just happened to me today. I got to my audition and I was re-reading the breakdown and all that jazz (as I always do when I first pull up to an audition), when my eyes fell upon “Please bring two headshots”. Craaaaap. I had only put one in my folder. ::sad face::

But wait! I reached back behind my seat and pulled out my stack of extras. Tah-dah!! Now I could walk in with confidence knowing that I don’t look like some schmuck actor that didn’t prepare or doesn’t know how to read.

Moral of the story; keep a stack of 10-20 in your car. Ya never know.

Shoes/Clothes

Whether it’s a last minute call or you get to the location only to see some chick wearing the exact same top as you. (That bitch!) I’d suggest keeping at least two different “looks” on hand; sexy, business, mom… whatever you tend to go out for most often. Just make sure that whatever outfit(s) you keep in your car, they are either hung up or made of a wrinkle-free material. You don’t want to walk in looking like a shaggy bum. … Unless the role is for “street urchin #4”. Then you’re golden.

Copies of Official Documents

This one might seem silly. But, just wait till you get to set one day on a new project and the 2nd AD says that he can’t find your SAG papers anywhere. You are going to be a hero to that poor, overworked AD when you whip out copies of all the official rigmarole that states that you are approved to work union. And it’s all gravy, baby.

*But don’t keep a bunch of important legal originals in your car, you silly goose! (S.S. card, check book, etc.)

Miles Log/Receipt Files

What’s that? You like when I talk about forms and documents? Well, then you’re in luck, you dirty bird, because, I’m also saying that you should have another folder in which to keep track of your miles. Write down how far you drove to that audition, to your agents’ office for that “re-branding meeting”, or to the day-job interview that you dragged your feet to. (Yep. That counts!) All of it.

ALSO, keep a log of your career related expenses. Had to make a quick run to Kinkos to print more resumes? Write that down.  MMmmmm. Sexy, right? My tax preparer loves it when I get anal. (…too far?)

*Speaking of being prepared for tax season… read this.

Pens/Highlighter/Stapler

Is this one obvious? This one should be obvious. Keep ‘em in your car, don’t take ‘em out.

Change

I know that most parking meters and structures accept credit cards these days. But, you never know! I always have 4 quarters and 4 dimes in my wallet at all times. Non sequitur; my sister used to travel frequently for work, and she told me that a surprising amount of parking structures that she went to would only accept cash or check. A CHECK. How weird is that?

Moving on…

Headphones

So many uses for these guys. You can listen to your specially-concocted-super-downer-music playlist before that intense audition. Or you can listen to the recording you made of your lines without prompting funny looks from nearby strangers. (They just don’t understand the CRAFT!) Want to study a script at your local coffee shop? Those headphones work as a decent “please don’t bother me” sign.

Thomas Guide/Paper Maps/Sextant

I know, I know. Everyone and their mom has a smart phone. (Hi Mom!) But, who knows? Maybe Mars is in retrograde (or some other hippie magic thing) and none of your electronics seem to be working correctly. You’ll be glad that you have a good ol’ paper map to rely on.

… sextant.  ::giggle::

Snacks/ Water

You wouldn’t like me when I’m hungry. There’s been more than one occasion when I got to an audition only to find out that they are WAY behind schedule and everyone is pushed back an hour or more. (Cue stomach growl.) If I’m hungry, I’m not only grumpy but I also find it harder to concentrate. And, as if that’s not bad enough, I can get shaky or lightheaded. No bueno. So, keep on hand some dried fruit, nuts, rattlesnake jerky, whatever floats your proverbial boat.

Period Things

Because us ladies have learned that not all surprises are good surprises. I’ll spare ya’ll on the details.

Extra Makeup

Maybe she IS born with it. But, even Maybelline models need a little extra help to be “camera ready”. You don’t need your whole Ben Nye kit in there, but keep a couple of the basics.

And for guys…. I dunno. Blotting papers? Extra deodorant?  Actually, on second thought, girls should have that too. No one wants to work with the smelly kid in class.

Anyone want to guess how many of these amazingly helpful suggestions I actually have in my car at this moment? Eh? The reader who guesses correctly gets to come over and slap my negligent actor wrists with a wet noodle.

Go get ‘em tiger.