You, 1. Resolutions, 0.
I’m not going to ask you nicely to put down that pen and notebook. You know, the notebook where you’ve written down your New Year’s Resolutions.
I’m not going to scream, or yell, or wave my hands in the air bellowing, “Oh crap, we’re gonna die,” because that wouldn’t be productive (And a tad overdramatic).
I’m not going to guilt trip you, or try to trick you, or set off on a secret agenda. I’m not that diabolical (or that smart).
What I will do, however, is kick up my feet, pour myself a glass of vino, and wish you all the luck in the world with genuine enthusiasm.
Because New Year’s Resolutions are hard. Full of hope and determined intentions. The very purpose of a resolution is to fix a problem or find an answer. We set New Year’s Resolutions because we want change. Good change. And that’s great. But the resolutions we make (and write in a new Moleskin journal) are just that…
Answers.
But so is the number 10.
Ask any elementary student and they will tell you the same thing. Ten is a great answer. But when we just look at the number by itself, we don’t know the question that followed it. Are we talking a six plus four situation? What about five times two? Or what about the very sexy thirty divided by three?
All of these are very different math problems, getting the very same solution.
To put it another way…
The problem is where we are at the moment. The answer is where we want to be. However, we are going to get lost until we figure out how to get from one to the other.
Simple math.
So turn the page on the notebook and at the top write the word, “Habits”.
Our day to day lives are made up of a series of various habits. Some are good, some are bad. They can be found in some of the most obscure spots, and some like to slap you in the face announcing their everlasting presence.
What people don’t see right away is that New Year’s Resolutions are woven from these habits. And mostly? The bad ones. And voila! Enter goal setting for the new year:
-Quit smoking (Bad habit: smoking)
-Get up earlier (Bad habit: sleeping in too late or without schedule)
-No chocolate (Bad habit: eating too much chocolate)
-Open savings account (Bad habit: spending all of their paycheck on things they don’t need)
And the secret sauce to actually achieving these resolutions comes from recognizing these habits and focusing on them. The habits are the key to getting you from the problem to the answer.
So with pen in hand and resolutions in mind, write down all of the new GOOD HABITS you want to tackle in the coming year. Break down your resolutions and see what habits are lurking there. You may have several habits in one resolution. Let’s take one for example:
Resolution: Lose 20 pounds
Good Habits to help you get there:
- Drink a gallon of water a day
- Cardio three times per week
- Strength training three times per week
- Eat 5-6 small meals a day
- No more soda
These few habits are just a small sample of what can go into this particular big resolution, but it is something to go off of. When you see all of the habits laid out in front of you, it gets a little overwhelming, and that’s why New Year’s Resolutions are constantly abandoned. Because three weeks in, people see that these resolutions are layered and complicated. But you are not most people. You’re a Ms. in the Biz, and that’s why your resolutions will stick.
So okay, you’ve broken down all of your resolutions into good habits. Now what?
Now it’s time to actually turn these written down good habits into every day ones. The kind where you don’t need to think about it. Like brushing your teeth or opening up a bottle of red each night (I kid, I kid…).
It takes 21 days for something to become a habit. But I want a little more insurance so I am going to aim for 30 days, or a month. For the first month of the year, pick a habit to work on. You can pick up to three total for the month, but they should be in different categories. For example, one habit from your health resolution, one from your career oriented solution, etc. For the next thirty days you are going to focus on doing that habit each day, every day. The idea is that by the end of those thirty days, you will have inserted those good habits into your brain to the point where you don’t have to think about it. It just becomes a part of you. Second nature. Then when month two comes along, you can add on. Pick another habit or two and again, do it each day, every day.
New Year’s Resolutions don’t happen in a vacuum, nor can you just flip a switch. Your brain and body are programmed to act in a certain way. It is only when we concentrate on breaking the bad habits and adopting the new good ones that we can actually see the changes we want to make.
So, no, I won’t tell you to give up on your resolutions. You can keep the journal. But I will ask you to give yourself a fighting chance.
And when you start to get cozy and familiar with your new habits? Victory’s in your grasp, as easy as 1,2,3. Now that’s the kind of math I like. Calculator not required.