Well, it’s that time of year again ladies… the month of love. Personally, I always seem to enjoy this month. I’ve learned to appreciate love in all of its forms, especially from friends and family. Now when it comes to romance, sure I would love it as much as the next girl; however, I’ve got bigger fish to fry at this time in my life. I’m not sure many would agree with me, especially being a hormonal raging college student; but I really just want to immerse my entire self into my work until one day I’m ready to settle down with someone who makes me better. Look at the Beyoncé and Jay-Z the other night at the Grammy’s, BOTH took home the gold. In fact, they even won one together for Best R&B Performance. Given, the couple is a multimillion-dollar powerhouse with enough talent to probably fill a continent; but those are the goals we women should be striving for!
Love is something that can either catapult us to our success or drag us down with a thousand pound weight of distraction. Finding the right person to compliment creativity is crucial in this business. Not only is it important to find a creative companion, it’s also important to find someone who is patient and encouraging with your career. Think about how discouraging it would be to come home from a 16 hour day on set where everything either went really smoothly or was really rough, and you jump into bed with your husband ready to gush over the details… and all he can seem to do is get lost in your terminology or seem to not show any interest at all. That just sounds like a terrible life to me. So again I stress, find a man who will support your journey and even catapult you to success. Find someone who makes you wonder how you could’ve accomplished so much without him.
Another important aspect to keep in mind when entering a relationship while juggling your career is every filmmaker’s favorite word, that’s right: balance. Balance in a relationship is something that keeps it alive. Personally, I hope to find someone in the business so we can share our moments both at work and at home. Most of the time as a filmmaker, it isn’t a job; it’s your entire life. Balancing both with a man on the opposite end of the career spectrum could be very difficult, if not impossible.
One of my favorite examples of a woman who seems to have incredible balance of being a married mother and a director of photography is Reed Morano. In her interview with Filmmaker Magazine, Morano talks about how she balances both being a mom and being a female filmmaker. Morano goes on to say, “Being a mom and a d.p. is not easy, but it’s certainly not impossible. You have to have the right partner who has similar goals as you and understands your work, which my husband does, being a gaffer who also owns a lighting and grip company. Without his support, it would be a lot harder, if not impossible.”
The support from your partner could be the deciding factor of whether you choose to move forward in your career or stop completely. I say again so it resonates in your mind, pick your partners wisely. Life is a journey and for filmmaker’s it can be a chaotic one. Find someone who’s along for every ride.
– Alexis McDonough