The Best Holiday Gift to Give Yourself

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On November 12, 2015 I put up my Christmas tree.

No, it’s not an attempt to show Starbucks who’s boss (I drank a Pumpkin Spice Latte while putting up the ornaments). Nor was it my complete lack of regard for the holiday that falls between Halloween and Christmas (flag day?). And truth be told, it had nothing to do with giving me an excuse to start watching Christmas movies (I watch Elf in July).

I put up my Christmas tree because I wanted everything to be perfect.

My parents are coming into town and what better way to greet them than with fake snow? Besides, if I start decorating this early my house will be perfectly joyful and spiffy, and will put me in the mood to bake cookies for the neighbors and to plot out my Christmas shopping agenda, and just be perfect, perfect, perfect.

We as a society have ingrained in ourselves that we need to be perfect.

Our parents got it as baby boomers, because now that their own parents had lived through war and the Depression, it was up to our parents to live the perfect life that theirs couldn’t. Enter the white picket fences and Leave it to Beaver lawns.

As a woman in her early thirties I can tell you it started for me at the age of twelve with an obsession to have the perfect body, and the perfect 90’s style straight hair cut, and the perfect collaged wall of boy band posters.

And now with the Internet, our lives are on constant display and what better thing to portray then the perfect lives we lead. You know, with our perfect babies ready for Gerber ads, and perfect projects that go viral, and perfect husbands who bring home takeout on a whim when you just don’t feel like cooking. We read articles that tell us how we can naturally have flawless skin, or have to achieve optimal work/life balance, and have perfect relationships with everyone from your spouse to your mailman. We read books about eating, loving, and praying that has a perfect happy ending and other books about being happier, richer, smarter, funnier.

So I put that tree up because I wanted the house to have that perfect holiday quality to it. I wanted the walls to dance with multicolored twinkle lights, and I wanted the smell of fresh baked gingerbread without all the calories. I even wanted my Pumpkin Spice Latte to be perfect for the occasion.

But you know what happened? The Pumpkin Spice Latte was a little too sweet, and three of the seven strands of Christmas lights were only half lit, and one ornament fell to the floor to its untimely (and imperfect) death, and for the life of me I couldn’t conjure up enough energy to put up the “little tree” when I spent all day dressing the “big tree.”

As creative entrepreneurs, we especially put pressure on ourselves to be perfect in every way, no matter what time of year. We want our creative projects to be perfect, our Facebook Page to be perfect, our “business side” to be perfect, our family life to be perfect, our appearance to be perfect, our brand to be perfect, even our dreams to be perfect.   But when you add in the holiday season? All of a sudden we need to throw the perfect holiday party where you can get the best eggnog of your life. You have to find the most unexpected, perfect gifts that couldn’t make a Christmas List if they tried, because they are just…That. Good. Screw the gingerbread cookies, you’re making a gingerbread castle with a sugar plum fairy princess.

We’re stuck in this land of perfection and it’s exhausting and unsatisfying.

**Sigh, leans back in chair**

Did you know that the Navajo purposely leave a flaw in their art? In their woven blankets and rugs they add a mistake. On purpose.

“A blanket must have an outlet… a mere thread of a different color or a slight, apparently accidental, break in the border pattern, which looks like an imperfection. But if it were omitted, the woman might get the blanket sickness and lose her mind.” –From www.navajopeople.org.

It’s the losing her mind part that got my attention. Because while we are busy making everything perfect, we are building so much tension in ourselves that eventually we will have to explode. Or, lose our minds. Because being perfect is not how we are built. When flaws happen—whether by accident or agenda—that’s where we find the real beauty. When we decide to skip out this week’s blog post to for an impromptu Breaking Bad binge watching date with the husband…that’s a flaw worth having. When we decide to go ahead and bring up the sticky subject with your business partner that will no doubt end in a fight…that’s a relationship worth rattling. When we drop the gingerbread castle or the fudge goes up in flames (literally)…that’s a story worth telling.

So for this holiday season, as we continue to run around and try to be our perfect selves, let’s remember that there’s a danger of losing our minds. Instead, add in the flaws and weave in the imperfections. Because it’s in these moments that real life can happen. It’s in these moments that force us to slow down and to be grateful, to love, and to celebrate. Something that the holiday season is really about.

Merry Imperfections to all, and to all a good night.