Naysayers. They seem to be everywhere; in every nook and cranny of our lives lurking in the shadows just waiting to serve up their often unsolicited sage advice. Take comfort my lovelies in knowing we have all encountered them and no one is exempt; not even the very famous. The good news is there are ways to make these incorrigible people with their “Debbie Downer” comments work for you. These easy-to-use strategies can be implemented on an as-needed basis, depending on the severity of the infraction.
“It’s just their opinion”
Your very first knee-jerk reaction after encountering one of these naysayers is to remind yourself that it’s only their opinion and like a you-know-what, everyone has one. Say it to yourself if you have to “It’s just their opinion.”
Find your praise
Another great strategy is to go back and reread a review or an email or some other piece of material that praised you. This is especially helpful when you begin to doubt yourself – and we’ve all been there.
Take a Meeting
For a more comprehensive approach take a meeting…with yourself and flesh out the realities of where that naysayer is coming from. What dreams did they once have that have gone unrealized that now color their every interaction? People operate from within their own circumference of the world and view the world from their own past experiences and…failures. Perhaps you are a reminder of their past attempts at success turned failures.
Loved Ones
Remember this little nugget as it applies to friends and family. If someone we know were to become über famous, rich, successful (you fill in the adjective) that would ultimately change the relationship. Sadly most people don’t want to see their relationships change with those they care about so they say what they need to in order to keep them where they are. Make sense?
Consider the Source
Take heed and consider the source. No one has the power to see into your future and know what you are capable of. Oh, you say “well they have a high position within the entertainment industry so they would know.” Poppycock! Ponder these famous failures:
- Marilyn Monroe was told by a major studio she wasn’t pretty or talented enough to be an actress.
- Oprah Winfrey was fired from her television reporting job because they told her she wasn’t fit to be on screen.
- Lucille Ball spent many years on the B-list and her agent told her to pursue a new career.
- Danny DeVito admitted in published interviews that a Hollywood casting director told him he was too short to be an actor.
- After his first film, Harrison Ford underwhelmed the producer and was told he would probably never succeed.
- The Beatles were famously rejected by Decca Records being told “they have no future in show business.”
- Jerry Seinfeld was booed away by a jeering crowd the very first time he went on stage.
- Charlie Chaplin’s act was rejected by executives because they thought it was too obscure for people to understand.
- Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor because he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.”
- Fred Astaire’s first screen test rendered the following comments: “Can’t act. Can’t sing. Slightly bald. Can dance a little.”
- After Sidney Poitier’s first audition, the casting director instructed him to just stop wasting everyone’s time and “go be a dishwasher or something.”
- And finally Kathryn Stockett who received 60 rejections for her book The Help, but letter number 61 was the one that accepted her. She offers this “I can’t tell you how to succeed. But I can tell you how not to: Give in to the shame of being rejected and put your manuscript—or painting, song, voice, dance moves, [insert passion here]—in the coffin that is your bedside drawer and close it for good. I guarantee you that it won’t take you anywhere.”
Have a Cocktail
And if all else fails have a cocktail. 🙂