My Letter to the Weight-Lifter’s Fairy Godmother

0

AlexSantori*Advanced warning: The following conversation contains profanity, crude language, sexual situations, and nudity.  

**Article may not actually include all of the above.

To the tenacious W-LFG (Weight-Lifter’s Fairy Godmother),

I’m about to get all sappy and shit. Deal with it.

I suppose that I just want to say “Thanks”.  I’m not entirely sure who I’d be today without you.  OK, OK, put the tissues away. It’s embarrassing.

As an actor, it can get really freakin’ exhausting hearing “no” all the time. I.e. “No, sorry, you don’t have enough credits” and “They are looking for someone shorter/taller/blonder/Asianier,” and “we couldn’t secure the funding to complete the project you have put your heart and soul in to,” and the oh-so-common  “___________,” (That would be the silence that occurs when “they” don’t even bother to get back to you… but, in case you were wondering, it’s still a No).

At times, it seemed like everything worth having was so completely beyond my control.  … Yes, yes I know that “control” is just a fallacy and we don’t really have any control over what happens to us and our lives and all that hippie-trippy bullshit. But, go with me on this one. I got exhausted of the feeling that in order to enact any sort of significant change, I was almost completely dependent on someone else.

So, I had a choice in how I dealt with all of the ebbs, in the ebb and flow of an actors life. I had to pick between the 3 B’s: Boys, Booze, or Barbells. (… Fine, it might have been a very lengthy and embarrassing process of elimination, but there’s no need to get so damn picky right now, ok?)  But, then you finally came along and sprinkled your fancy glittery protein fairy dust on my pillow, and my life changed for the better.

I now feel like I have control (stop rolling your eyes!) over this physical project called My Body. There’s no need to guess if I’m making headway on my goals, because I can SEE them. It’s a concrete way to track progress. Example; when I first started, I was curling with 15lb barbells, and as of 2 weeks ago, I’m now up to 40. Boom. Progress. Is there someone out there who can lift more? Sure. Do I give a rats fuzzy little behind? NOPE. That doesn’t mean that I’m satisfied, or complacent. It just means that I understand that this is my journey and it is completely and utterly pointless to compare my journey to someone else’s.  (Hmm. Sound like maybe something that can be applied to the acting side of things?.. eh?)

But more important than all that… I finally feel capable of empowering myself. This was my outlet in order to uncover my inner badass.  This girl knows what I’m talking about.  The same confidence I’ve found when walking into a weight room (and that place is intimidating as all Hell in the beginning), I can now easily shift that same sense of comfort and confidence into the audition room.

See, even if it doesn’t work out with that particular project for whatever reason, it’s cool. No worries. Cuz, I just PR’d on my dead lifts this morning and I’m feeling pretty damn good regardless.

Long story short, I love you. And I think that you are the best Fairy Godmother a girl could hope for. … But, please don’t tell the Tooth Fairy. He can be a bit sensitive at times.

xo Alex