Merry “Agent Drop Season” everybody! Also, Happy “slow time of the year” to you. Oh, and Feliz “What-the-shit-am-I-doing-with-my-life?-I-could-have-picked-a-normal-career-path-and-consequently-would-now-be-a-much-happier-and-more-successful-person” navidad!
I have a feeling that quite a few of you might be nodding in agreement to one or more of those sentiments above. (And to those of you who think I’m just a weirdo… go away. We can’t be friends anymore.) First and foremost; you are not alone! In fact, a few of us “Ms. In the Biz-ers” were virtually chatting about this the other day. Lots of us face these moments and it seemed to strike a big enough chord to warrant me sitting on my butt for long enough to type out some of the tips and suggestions for ya’ll.
1. First… Take time to feel shitty
You are allowed to have these feelings! You can’t “get over” something that you insist on ignoring. So, cry it out. Ain’t nobody watching. It’s your party; you can do what you want. Maybe you need to get angry with it? That’s cool too! Scream into some pillows, punch (inanimate) objects, write terrible and awful letters to people who piss you off… (But, for the love of your future overworked PR team, do NOT send them) The most important part of this step is to cap this initial step at 2 days, three at the very most. Seriously, this is a very dark hole that you’re playing around. Skip lightly.
2. Put those feelings away. (For now)
We all know that there is no escaping these little demons. But, now that we’ve exorcised them, we can at the very least, shrink them down to a manageable size and shove them off to the side of your psyche. Like that terrible scarf your Grandma gave you. You’ll never be able to throw it away but you can at least tuck it into the waaaaaay back corner of your closet. And only bring it out when necessary. (Personally, I never reeeaaally “get rid” of crappy feelings. Since I never know when they will come in handy…)
3. Surround yourself with normal positive people.
Key word being “normal” (Whatever the hell that means). Just steer clear of those “Bubbly Carebear on Crank” types. God bless ‘em. Don’t get me wrong the world needs them. But, when I’m working on my own shit, those people just serve to remind me that I’m about as perky as Eeyore the depressed fuckin’ Donkey. Instead, grab some coffee or whatever and hang with someone that makes you feel normal(ish) again. Or, if you’ve got the scratch, schedule a few sessions with an unbiased third party (ie. Shrink, therapist, witch-doctor… whatever). The key is to find someone that will listen, without judging or commiserating too much.
4. Create something, and finish it
Start a hobby that sparks a little bit of your interest. Grab that hook-and-latch set that you put aside years ago and finally complete the pattern of the obnoxiously adorable big eared puppy. Or try your hand at writing some spoken word poetry. It’s not like it has to be good, you’re not going to show it to anyone if you don’t want to. Perhaps it’s time to get certified in a new firearm? I don’t care! The point is to start something AND finish it. We often underestimate how freakin’ good that feels. Reaffirm the fact that you do, indeed, have a little bit of power in your life.
5. Get physically active .
I can already feel your eyeballs rolling to the back of your head while you say, “fuck you and your ‘serotonin’, I’m going to sit here in my PJs and eat my basket of sweet potato fries”. And to that I reply; “Do you kiss your mother with that mouth??” But, also I kind of agree with you. When you’re bummed out, the last thing you want to hear is some cheerful person in Lulus suggesting that you simply just need to go to the gym. We already know that it’s good for you and releases all those mushy gooshy happy hormones, so I won’t hammer the issue even more. …. But, I will say this; if you pry yourself off that couch and don’t feel a smidge better after taking that Malibu hike, or playing hopscotch with the neighborhood kids; let me know. I’ll come over and give you a dollar as an apology.*
6. Remember that this is NOT your life!!
Sweetheart, if you put the sanctity of your mental health into the hands of the entertainment gods and wizards, you are just asking to get jerked around. Please, please find happiness outside of the industry! This can be your career and your passion but it should never dictate your self-worth. It’s perfectly OK to have friends, relationships, and hobbies that don’t fit into “that category”. It doesn’t mean that you are any less dedicated to the pursuit of your dreams. And actually, as an artist, it only helps to have a substantive life from which you can pull emotions and experiences. Just sayin’.
I don’t know what to say for my wrap up… I suppose the biggest point to take away would be; sometimes life sucks, but usually it’s ok. And every once in a while, it’s pretty great. Up to you what you want to focus on.
::hugs::
* It may actually only be 50cents. We are in a recession, people! … Also, do kids even play hopscotch anymore?