Life sometimes gets in the way of Life… or more so Life happens and you find yourself in a completely different mindset and place than you envisioned yourself to be.
It’s been a month or so, since my last MITB piece, and I normally have a new column every 2 weeks, but you see, life has been happening.
I started the new year off with a great attitude, feeling strong, and ready to take on the world, my demons, and to continue to climb to the top of every mountain I came across. I soon found myself in a frantic journey to find a new home. As some of you know, in 2012 I lovingly took on Gypsy Mode, and spent time in Philly, NYC, Atlantic City, Vegas, and Nashville before settling back into LA in 2013. I had been renting a gorgeous bedroom in the Hollywood Hills for most of 2013, and had gotten quite comfortable with my situation. Pay my rent to the lady who rents the house and that was the extent of my responsibilities. No lease, no repairs, no utilities, just pay my rent and be good to go. Just before the holidays, I was given notice to move by February. Now, that seems like a long time, but after my concussion and a 3 week trip back east for the holidays, I was left with just 3 weeks to find a new place to call home. If you’re not in Los Angeles, you’re probably thinking okay, 3 weeks to find a place, no big deal. Except in LA it is a big deal.
I looked at about 35 guest houses and 25 apartments. I was in my car 6-8 hours a day going to appointments and/or searching for rental signs. And soon it became a full time job. This is the part where life gets in the way of life… I suddenly had just enough time to keep my current social media and crowd-funding clients happy, but had no time at all for exercise, sleep, or any kind of social life. I joyously had one audition during that time, but was left without the gusto or energy to pursue new projects or go to the ever important networking events.
It’s easy to get depressed when “nothing” appears to be happening in your career, and it can be frustrating when the reason “nothing” is happening is because you have no time to focus on it. But, as you know, you have to trust the process… you have to trust that all is working out the way it’s supposed to be and lo and behold I was offered a lead role in a horror feature this summer, booked a ½ dozen new crowdfunding clients, and have been invited to be a guest speaker at an amazing event happening in March. All while scouring every corner of LA for my perfect guest house.
So where am I now? Well, I still haven’t found that perfect place, I mean, I found at least 10 suitable places, but for me, I’m not willing to compromise on something , especially after the last 2 years of gypsy mode/freedom. I just can’t plop down a few thousand dollars, and sign a lease on something I don’t love. I know what I want, and when I walk in I will feel at home
In the meantime, I’m renting a bedroom from a friend who is travelling in India. She’s been on a very inspirational journey, and in some weird way, being in her space right now, is also inspiring.. knowing that not too long ago, she was here feeling some of the same feelings of frustration with career and watching the ticking clock, yet she had the courage to pack up and go to India, on her own and really experience life in another country. Casting calls and auditions will still be here when she returns.
It is challenging though, trying to run not only my actor business, but also my crowd-funding business out of boxes and suitcases and makeshift offices…. But I feel as if there’s something else about to unfold, perhaps I’ll be traveling soon myself, and there’s no need for a lease anywhere.
As I write this, my 3 month old nephew is on Day 6 in the intensive care unit of Dupont Hospital. He was diagnosed with a very rare form of Infant Botulism. He is getting stronger every day, and is expected to make a full recovery. But, it’s a very scary thing.. and back to the life getting in the way of life theme… nothing else matters right now in my day outside of getting updates from home as to how my nephew is doing. I have to force myself to answer emails, or promote my latest project on facebook, because truly does any of that REALLY matter?!
Yes, of course it matters, but you know what I mean… When a precious life is at risk, a baby, a family member, nothing else matters. I know my nephew is going to be alright, he is strong and his parents are amazing, and everyone will get thru this even stronger than before.. but again, it makes me think.
I’m approaching a rather large milestone birthday and as I look around; at my career, my ‘home’, my finances, my body, there are so many things I’d like to improve.. some days I’m not even sure who I am or what I’m doing. I have a lot to figure out. I’m determined to make improvements in all areas of my life, life is precious, time goes by super fast, and as cool as the parties, awards, red-carpets, etc are.. what is it that really fills your heart with joy? Is it the craft? Is it the career moments? The good ones, or all the moments? What is it that we’re fighting so hard to accomplish out here, sacrificing financial stability, and often times mental/emotional stability?
I’m going deeper. I thank you for being a part of this journey with me.
Live Love. Love Life. XOXO Leah