I don’t remember deciding that I wanted to be in the entertainment business. I think it chose me. I always wanted to be a full time actor and worked very hard to be one. So, 2 years ago when I decided to transition from working toward a career in front of the camera to one behind it, I struggled with the decision. I felt like I was giving up on my lifelong dream. It took time to accept that changing my mind about what I wanted and what I felt I was meant to do, didn’t mean I was giving up. It didn’t mean I failed.
I worked in many aspects of production for years. I felt it would make me a better actor and I think it did. Every actor should know what it’s like to work on set in another position. People began hiring me as a producer or an AD and would sometimes offer me a small or supporting role in the project as well. I didn’t want only small roles and I definitely didn’t want to be their AD. I liked those jobs a lot and I was good at them. But those positions were not going to help me build my acting resume in the way I felt I needed. I was stubborn and shutting things out that I liked and had a talent for because they weren’t the things I originally set out to do. But, over time my love for production grew and I began to accept that changing wasn’t failing.
I still love the art of acting and bringing a character to life. But, what I love even more than that; being a part of a something as special creating a movie or a show. Putting words on a page and then taking those words and turning them into a piece of art that will touch people is the most thrilling thing I could do with my life.
Now, over a decade after beginning my career I’m back at a new starting point and working toward new goals, (and boy do I have a long way to go and a lot of work to do!)
I am an assistant at a talent agency. We represent an amazing group of actors. When one of them comes in and tells me about their afternoon spent working with the great Clint Eastwood, acting opposite Bradley Cooper, (one of my favorite actors, by the way) do I miss acting? Sure, a little. But then I knock out an awesome scene on the screenplay I’m working on, I do some pre-production work on my next project or I shoot an episode of my web series and I’m immediately reminded of what I really love to do; Create.
So, what is the point of all this rambling? To remind you of what I needed to be reminded of for so long. Life rarely sends us down the path we think it will. That doesn’t mean we failed. It doesn’t mean we should quit. It means it’s important to accept that just because life doesn’t look exactly the way we pictured it, doesn’t mean it can’t be amazing. If you work hard, do what you’re passionate about and reach for your goals you will be able to lead a happy, fulfilled life. If you continue to go after your dreams, no matter how they take shape and change over time, I have a feeling life just might be even better than you ever imagined.