I think at least 40% of stress I usually feel is me stressing out about the fact that I’m stressed.
It’s something we have to deal with, but some ways are better than others. Getting stressed about being stressed is a popular pastime, but completely pointless. Spend some of the time you currently give to fretting over things on finding ways to counteract the stress buildup, and things will get a lot easier to manage.
I’ve spent years trying to find reliable ways to deal with the different cycles I go through as part of my mental illness. I push further than I should, keep it hidden when I shouldn’t, and eventually I hit a brick wall which stops me dead in my tracks and keeps me there until I can find a way around it. Which is way, WAY harder than stopping it from being built in the first place.
It’s always a work in progress, but I have a few tricks up my sleeve, in my ever-progressing learning curve:
1) Happy fun time!
Never –ever – deprioritize the time you need in order to reset your inner clocks, recharge your batteries, and be ready for another day. It might let you get more done in the short term, but in the long term nothing good will come of it. I know a lot of us can get really fixated on the dreams we have, and sometimes persuade ourselves that just stopping to have fun is bad because we must have total focus on the end goal…
Games, reading, writing, walking, meditation…some of the things I use when I need to wind down. They all have a different purpose and a different place in my life, each one important.
What do you have which you turn to when you need to unwind, think, destress? Crafting? Coding? Running? Sleeping? Organizing? Cleaning? Think through what you are drawn to at certain points, remember it, and use it.
Find your hobbies, and use them, that’s what they’re there for, and in no way are they wasting your time.
2) Diet?
If I’m depressed, eating badly makes me feel like junk, which makes me more depressed. If I’m manic, eating badly just makes me tired and cranky because I don’t have the energy I need to keep going, in order to burn some of it off. It’s connected. Your body and your brain will thank you for finding a way to enjoy your food, without it being bad for you.
I’ve never been a healthy eater, and I’ve always resisted “diets” because I have seen so any people miserable on things that don’t work, or that are temporary fixes which never really end.
No thanks.
Instead, I took on a challenge or two, after finally finding the motivation to stop being such a lazy slob.
A few changes in how I eat and drink, and I feel better. Feeling better means I feel happier. Not being on a diet where I have to count calories and scold myself and so on makes me way happier than the people around me I see doing that.
If it makes you unhappy, don’t do it. If it makes you feel better, do. I know cooking isn’t for everyone, add whatever you need to make it more enjoyable as you spend 30-60 minutes cooking (netflix, music, chatting on the phone, etc). And if you’re really smart, make extra and freeze it for less cooking days required!
3) Exercise?
This one easily goes hand in hand with the last one. Those challenges I mentioned started off with getting exercise. I realized how unfit I’d become, and finally found that special place in me where the reasons all come together into resolve, and bam – off I went.
The basic task was this: find a way to get exercise which I could a) enjoy and b) sustain.
After the first week, I was fortunate enough to stumble upon a way which kept me engaged, gave me accountability, could be done anywhere and anytime (gym? What gym), and gave me geeky rewards to keep me happy. That’s all on top of finding something I enjoyed doing, and gave me help on how to do it better and how to set realistic goals. In short: Nerd Fitness is my new online home.
It’s working – and like with the changes in eating habits, I feel BETTER!
Best of all: hard workout music + strength training = stress relief. Bonus!
4) Finding the center.
Use whatever words for it make sense to you, but think of it like this:
Inside of you there is a beating core of raw power. If you block it off with worries and stress and life and excuses, that power stops feeding you. Find the things that allow you to make a path through all that clutter, and that power is yours.
Prayer and meditation are good for me. So is just walking and thinking. So is African drumming. I know people who find it through cooking, running, theta waves…you name it, somebody probably does it. If you don’t know what your ways are yet, experiment until you find them. And don’t stop experimenting – if something new crops up, give it a go! Worst case, you learned a new thing. Best case, you’re supercharged and ready for action!
5) Don’t forget to breath
Don’t be afraid of making the space you need to deal with things before they become too much.
Don’t be afraid of turning something down, in order to prioritize the essential maintenance you need to do on you.
Don’t be afraid to stop, back off, close your eyes, breathe deep, and start again.
Remember to listen to yourself – and when yourself is telling you to slow down, do so. You’ll be better for it, and so will your work.
Just a few ideas there. Got your own? Leave them below!