Many women in the Industry have to deal with the dreaded troll. The people who hide behind the internet and grill you, judge, and lets face it, make you cry. It’s easy to let them get to you and deter you from doing the great things you want to do. Making you nervous to even be yourself and fear taking chances on yourself. Well I’ve always learned a strongly worded letter is great to get what you need out there. So to the trolls out there I have a letter for you.
Dear Troll,
As a host and writer of things that I am passionate about I want to share my passion with the world, but alas it’s difficult when the world is ready to judge you. I can study and study, and prepare and prepare, and at the end of the day it’ll never be enough, because you hide behind a computer with endless resources while I go on air. Knowing you are watching, my nerves get the best of me. Even if I know most facts, not knowing one unleashes the troll in you. And I know this. As I nervously put myself out there, I know that I will never be perfect, because nobody is.
I’ve cried for you and doubted myself. I have thought of quitting, and challenged my intelligence. I have done all these things for you. And yet you keep judging me, not realizing how hard it is to do what I do. To prepare and prepare, and still slip up, because I’m just a person trying to please an audience of people from different walks of life, and different perspectives. I’m trying to show you my side of things, my perspective, my take, which won’t always be yours. Because everyone is different and can bring something to the table, even you.
I know that you are making me better though, thickening my skin, making me work harder. Expanding my intelligence, making me put my A game on the battlefield of the internet. But I still have feelings. And it hurts to be judged all the time. You may say it’s my fault for putting myself out there, and maybe it is, opening ourselves to judgment is something us performers do. But remember we are human. And humans let nerves get to them, let judgments change us, and get tripped up.
I will always respond to you with positivity, for I believe we can grow together. I may never be enough from you, but I will learn from you. I will learn to be better, I will learn to be Iron. I will up my game. I will feed off your energy and turn it into my strength. You keep hiding while I put myself out there. Because for every woman who puts herself out there, there will always be someone to bring her down. But that doesn’t mean you will. So keep trolling. I’ll keep working harder, getting better, getting stronger. And I’ll see you on the battlefield, because I’ll be here for a long time.
Your Princess of Power
Anastasia Washington