The industry can be a cold place. Sometimes it seems like you can’t truly know who your friends are. Or that your friends are actually frenemies.
I am lucky in my life to have some true friends. But being born and raised in the great city of Los Angeles I have certainly seen my fair share of frenemies. You can choose to let them hurt you. Define you. Move you in the wrong direction. Or as Monty Python sang. You can ” always look on the bright side of life”. Here are some pros to having frenemies in your life and career.
Motivation.
While their sabotaging behavior and constant belittling or bragging can certainly bring you down, why not flip it? Is there some truth to their harsh criticisms? Is there something better that you can do to make them shut up? Taking stock and evaluating your current situation is never a bad thing. As long as you acknowledge where you are and where you want to go. You can seek the steps in between. If you wish you were where they are, stop and evaluate. See what they are doing that you are not, and then tailor it to yourself. Refine it. Achieve it. Have your moment, or cry. And then have it hurl you forward.
Self esteem.
Sure they just gave you a back handed compliment. But what was underneath that? Envy. Yes I know your mom told you this a thousand times. They are just jealous of you sweetie. But there is some truth to that. When we feel threatened we can cower or we can strike back. If we are afraid of being too obvious or perceived as cruel, we can sometimes bury it in a good old fashioned back handed compliment. I know most of us are guilty of this from time to time. And why do we do it? We envy these people. And to be envied or to be perceived as a threat is quite an honor. Especially from someone who talks such a big game.
Free Publicity.
As they say, even bad publicity is good publicity. If people are talking about you, your name is out there. And that’s an essential part of this show biz game. The word may be skewed, but what an impression you’ll make when people meet you and see how wrong that frenemy was about you. There’s no place to go but up.
As they say keep your friends close but your enemies closer. You can keep tabs on a threat by being friendly, and keeping an eye on your acquaintances. The more you know right?
Thick skin.
In this world we want to be a little bit thick skinned. Not calloused or jaded. But able to discern from something valid and something destructive. Prioritizing is one skill that a frenemy can definitely teach you. When you are insulted, Consider the source. Do you want what they have? Do you like they way they do things? No. Then who cares. I only take criticisms from sources that are constructive and from people that I can acknowledge as having traits or experiences I want or respect.
I guess what I’m saying is negativity can come at you in the form of friendship and rather then have it break you down, why not use it to bring out the best in you. It’s hard. But being positive and choosing to be happy is always the best choice; and in the long run, who doesn’t want to be happy?