Growing up, I was the tomboy that was always friends with the boys, playing with and even beating them at their own games and holding my own in conversation and action. Even as I got older, I always felt comfortable around the guys. Many of my girl friends would ask me how I was able to “just talk to them” like I did. Back then I said, “I just talk.” I didn’t think I had a special gift or anything. It came natural to me.
As I kept advancing in my business endeavors and dealing with men constantly, my gift improved. Then, when one of my guy friends told me that I was his best friend and that talking to me was just as comfortable as talking to any man I thought, here is a chance to get the male’s perspective about this gift.
So I asked him, “Why do you think that is?” He told me that I don’t play games with my words, that I say it like it is and that I don’t beat around the bush.
Ok I can see that. This gift was innate. I just had it in me. But it was not difficult to develop and improve upon. Years of experience have shown me that.
When I am on set I command the same respect as any male director. The way I communicate sets the tone. And there are a few essential points that every director must possess in order to communicate with every one from cast to crew:
Confidence.
Men are assured by confidence and when you are the leader it is a must. I have had many men try to tell me that I am being too ambitious in my work, or that my ideas are bigger then they should be. This is where a director’s confidence in their own decision must over power the nay-sayers. Yes, what you envision may be ambitious and yes, it may seem insurmountable to some. But if you are firm in your capabilities, then move forward. This is huge. Your conviction will prepare others for the task at hand. Men will look at you differently and may be curious to see if you can pull it off. When you do, all involve will benefit. My confidence comes through in my actions. I am very sure of myself on set and men feel comfortable with that.
Statements.
Do not announce your requests in the form of a question. Make a statement. Look directly into the eyes of the person you are talking to. If you seem unsure, men will think you want input and may be willing to do it their way. I speak with clarity. I don’t beat around the bush. Especially if there are tough questions that demand answers. When I do have a legitimate question, they know I am requesting collaboration. It is necessary as a director to state what you want. I know as women, we naturally tend to give input and seek cooperation. This is not the time or place for that. This is a place for you to be forceful if necessary. This is the place to create your vision.
You Are In Charge.
I have seen some women directors let men run over them. Do not let anyone take away your roll as director. The cast and crew will not be sure who is in charge and the shoot will fall apart. When someone tries to override your position, be firm with them and stand your ground. If it goes further, take them aside or clear the room and confront them. If it still isn’t working, let them go. This will show the cast and crew that you can handle the situation and that you are respectful enough to do it privately. More importantly, you are able to handle an unexpected disruption with poise and expediency. Never let someone take your role. Once this happens, it will always happen. Don’t let it. This is your set. Direct it.
Talking to men may come natural to me, but I hope that this information can make it easier for you. It is great to be a woman in charge, a woman that knows what she wants, and a woman that can handle herself with men, command respect on her film set and see her vision come to life on screen.