A few months ago, I shot a wonderful little film. My co-star was a very nice guy, about 15 years older than me and with a resume much longer than mine. Our scenes involved a lot of flirtation and a couple of kisses.
While we were rehearsing, said co-star sent me into a state of shock when he said: “You know, it’s funny. I’ve never done a kissing scene, or even a romantic scene before.”
I paused for a moment before responding, “…I’ve never not done one.”
I’m serious. I spent quite a bit of time wracking my brain after this conversation… I can only come up with two acting roles I’ve ever had where I didn’t have some semblance of a love scene. The two that didn’t include at least a lip lock? The characters were dead people.
My first kiss ever was onstage in a theatre production. It was a miserable, totally embarrassing experience that probably shaped way too much of my teenage love life. I had actually kissed three different people in plays before I ever kissed someone “in real life.” These youthful kisses occurred in a combination of school plays and local community theatre… and I was under the age of 15 in all cases. I think that says a great deal about the roles that are available to women in general. If at 14 the only character that you can play in your local theatre production, and in fact the only female character in the entire play, is essentially just “the girl the leading man kisses a lot”—what do we really expect our options to be as adults? Sigh.
I’m well aware of the types we all get boxed into, and mine has always been somewhere between an ingénue and a crazy flirt. It’s dawned on me, though, that that may not even really be my type at all. That’s just what’s available for me to audition for, and it’s probably what’s available to many of the actresses reading this right now. It makes me think about this Forbes article that was all over my Facebook news feed a few months ago regarding Rachel McAdams’ career opportunities. There just aren’t as many roles available for women to begin with… and most of those that are available tend to exist to give the male lead someone to make out with. Of course, that’s not every movie… but it seems to be an overwhelming majority.
Look, I’m not complaining about kissing actors. I’m certainly not saying “I don’t want to do a kissing scene ever again.” I’m lucky to be married to a fellow actor, and neither of us blinks at the idea of a love scene. It comes with the territory. I actually think that love scenes can add a lot to a project when they’re executed properly. I’m just not sure what it says about my chosen career, and how my gender is treated within that career, that 99% of the time a major part of my role in a project is to kiss a practical stranger. I became an actress because I love telling stories and because I believe that art is one of our greatest educational tools. I’ve gotten to tell some great stories, but if I’m being honest I don’t know that as many of them needed to invoke the “sex sells” method as actually did.
So, I’m writing this to put it out there that I think women have many, many, many more “types” than are available for us to audition for. I think we’re all a heck of a lot more interesting than just “the girl the leading man kisses a lot.”
What are your thoughts on love scenes, kissing or otherwise? Any ideas on what we can do to create more roles that allow women to be more than just an object of affection? (Hint: Pretty sure the answer, at this point, is start writing and producing your own great roles for ladies!)
*photo courtesy of Dollar Photo Club