As women in a male dominated field, we must always be bold. And we must never wait for permission to do so. Being bold for women is very different than it is for a man. She’s a bitch, but he’s in control. She’s nit picky, he has an eye for detail. She’s a complainer, he won’t stop until it’s the way he wants it. As women we must know that these labels may be placed on us if we are to be bold: confident, courageous, risk taking. We need to own our boldness without shame or modesty and prove that we too can be just as bold as a man.
As a director I must be bold. I must never waiver, I must never hold back and I must always lead with conviction. I had to teach myself to be this way. It wasn’t too hard to do once I found my courage and used it. And now that I’ve found it, I own it.
In finding my courage I started to observe men and women and how they would interact with people to see how I could improve my interactions with others. In doing this I noticed, for the most part, that men take action in almost everything they do: they speak out, talk to strangers, take risks, voice their opinions, ask for what they want, and sometimes they don’t ask, they just assume it’s theirs for the taking. On the flip side, I’ve witnessed women fall back in line to talk to someone, and then give up, or shrink down when waiting to speak out. And even after an event, they confide in me that they wished they had been bold enough to go up to someone to talk to them. I see a lot of women become meek and shy away from their own voice. They fall backwards and see the lack in their ambition, instead of being brave and daring.
I grew up very shy, and I didn’t think anything about it until I started to work on film sets. This made me take notice of how I was off of a film set. When I’m on set directing or assistant directing I speak out, I speak up, I say what I want and don’t give it a second thought. I command control of my film set. When I left the set I started to notice that I wasn’t my fearless self. I noticed that I wouldn’t approach someone I wanted to speak to at a seminar, or just start a conversation with at a networking event, or not ask an industry professional for a bit of advice. I started to realize that I needed to take command of my life off the film set, as well as on.
Taking charge on set taught me a great lesson: I wasn’t looking around to see if it was okay for me to be myself, to speak out, to expect, to be in charge. This was my fearless place. I’m daring, I shine, and I’m in command. I am confident. I am open to ideas, yet know what I want and say it. I stand tall. I lose all insecurities about what others may think of my ideas or me. I’m also having the time of my life. I realized that I had found my courage. I had found my place of strength.
Once I realized this, I started to use it in my life, instead of just on set.
When I want to speak out and find myself reverting to the non-talker, or losing my bravery when approaching someone I don’t know, or feeling that maybe my idea isn’t that good, I ask myself, “If I was on set what would I do?” I now put myself “on set” when I feel I need the boldness and the courage to do what needs to be done, in any situation.
We all have an area in our life where we feel that we shine. Find this place in you. Take notice of the place that feels fearless and daring to you. It will come so naturally that you may need to really step back and look. Once you find it, use it in the rest of your life, in your career, any place that you need a boost up or when you are less sure of yourself. Give yourself the permission to be bold. Take your life into your own hands and all the labeling that women get, won’t matter anymore. Lead your life with daring confidence.
The world is now my film set and I live it with heroic boldness.