As the co-host and producer of The Wedding Belles and The Proposal my life is a fantastic combination of matrimony and TV. I have attended numerous weddings, worked with and interviewed countless brides before and after the big day and I know of many audition stories. After taking one too many ladies through the Bridal Blues – and hearing about and experiencing one too many crappy auditions, I have discovered a correlation. I will start with the brides. Here is what they are forgetting:
Brides, your wedding is not about you.
That is right, it seems ironic however that feeling of emptiness and let down after your wedding is the result of two things.
1) Focusing too much on yourself
2) Worrying about the outcome.
Almost all brides have the right intention they just get caught up in the outcome and hype. Marketing and media play into the fact that it’s your day and it must be perfect. This is done so that you spend a lot of money. I am not saying it isn’t your day but it is also your husbands, your parents, grandparents and your guests etc. I have heard from numerous brides that they feel no one really wants to talk about the wedding after the big day. Here is why – your guests were disappointed in the event and want to avoid the topic. Here is how to avoid the post wedding blues.
Do not get caught up with your photos. 1000 pictures of just you and your groom are unnecessary and it is NOT okay to leave the wedding for an hour or more to take shots while your guests wait around. I don’t care how many hors d’oeuvres and champagne flutes you give them. You are the host. Plan accordingly – do your shoot the next day. Leaving shortly after the ceremony to take pictures fractures the energy and slows the momentum created from the ceremony. Auntie Annie and Uncle George didn’t fly in from Amsterdam to stand around and wait for your butt all day – they came to see you.
Do not forget to dance. Brides feel they need to say hello to everyone and they spend the entire night going around talking to everyone. To avoid this you can either have a receiving line or a gathering the night before. Nothing makes a party more enjoyable for all than a happy dancing bride. You are the star of the show. Be in the center where everyone can see you. They will likely join in. A twist and shout with guests is better then a 5 minute conversation. Make memories.
Do not use your busy schedule as a reason to not prepare a speech. It is imperative the bride take time to give an eloquent yet concise thank you speech, one she didn’t just jot down on a napkin. There is nothing worse then a bride standing up to thank everyone then being confused and forgetting what to say while crying and ummm-ing her way through a mess of thoughts. Imagine the Queen or guest speaker at a formal dinner – that is you. Uncle Barry didn’t get dressed up to not see you be the incredible woman your parents raised you to be. The Queen wouldn’t be unprepared to speak and neither should you.
Do not forget to hire a wedding planner and let it all go. Things won’t run perfectly at your wedding that is a fact, but it is no longer your concern. If you have someone there on the day and they have an agenda then your work is complete. Do not run around checking in with your planner and panicking if the cake cutting is 10 minutes late. You can not let the guests see you sweat. No matter what happens this day will be full of your wedding memories and if you are a happy and gracious bride the event will be an overwhelming success.
How does this help with a better audition?
Well, actors it is not about you.
That is right. The character you are reading started a long time ago in a writer’s mind. It is probably based loosely on a real person and the lines you are reading have been reworked many times before they landed in your inbox. Now it is time for you to bring them to life all the while understanding this is all part of a bigger picture. So the next time you go to an audition.
1) Do not focus on yourself too much
2) Do not worry about the outcome
Be a host at your next audition and take care of the casting directors, directors and producers. Perhaps they are having a bad day and they just need a kind word. Walk in with the intention that they don’t have to worry; their character is safe with you. Pay tribute to the writer who wrote the lines and prepare, prepare, prepare. Then throw it all away and make memories.
Whether audition or wedding after the preparation it will be what it will be. Go along for the ride – I hope you will be happier for it. Please let me know how it goes, I love a good wedding or audition tale.