I’m an overachiever in general, but especially in matters of the heart. For family, friends and colleagues I will always go above and beyond, do whatever I can ’til I’m all dried up and there’s nothing left. This doesn’t make for a secure ego, or for a confident woman. In fact, it highlights insecurities, makes you feel under appreciated, and emotionally and physically drains you.
Now I’m not saying ditch the helpful attitude, or to be unkind and stop giving to people. No not at all. What I am simply suggesting is to add your name to the list of people you do things for, and to do unto to yourself what you do unto others.
Here’s some ways that you can be kind and be an asset to yourself:
1. Be a friend.
Here’s a scenario: When your friend is down, or has something important going on, you are the person that makes an effort to let them know you care. You find yourself treating them, congratulating them, comforting and rewarding. Why should you treat yourself any differently? Give yourself props for the things that you achieve, reward yourself for milestones, and give yourself comfort when you need it. Even if that’s simply watching your favorite movie and drinking an amazing cup of tea. It’s the little things that say you care, even when it’s for you!
2. Give yourself some time.
We know when our friends and colleagues need time for themselves or time to accomplish things, and we tend to give them that time. But when it comes to ourselves, our goals, and our personal time, this is all usually clumped in with a million other things. Multitasking but never giving complete time to ourselves is something that has to change. Whether it’s setting office hours for yourself or making a yoga class you can’t cancel. Making time for just your goals and comfort is important and essential. You wouldn’t cancel or flake on a friend, so don’t cancel on yourself.
3. Celebrate you.
Do something silly and celebrate the things that are uniquely you. Celebrate achievements and hurdles you’ve overcome. Celebrate life.
4. Risk it!
Say “yes” to the scary but awesome opportunities that come your way! Yes maybe you’re afraid to ask for more, or to take on a task. But risks and “what ifs” plague us too much, and its better to have tried then to complain about what could’ve been.
5. Know your worth.
There comes a time when you have to establish what you are worth. You know your friends are worth the world. What about you? What are your strengths? What do you have to offer and how should you be treated? If you don’t know your worth, then anybody can buy you at a bargain. And believe me, they will. Why invest more when you are giving it for nothing, and poor treatment. Say no to mediocre treatment, instability, or people who just don’t see your worth. That’s not to say, don’t work for free or help people out, but instead a little tit for tat, some respect, and correct treatment go a long way. You know you’re worth it, don’t sell yourself short.
6. Speak up!
No one can hear you. We listen to friends and are the shoulder they cry on. Heck we even have their backs and speak up and defend them! The same should go for listening to yourself. Listen to what you want, need, and deserve. Ask for it. Go get it. Have your own back!
Basically be kind to your wonderful self. When people see a confident hard working person that knows their worth, they are drawn to them. They want to be a part of that glow. And damn it, why not glow!