Gossips feels sooooo good. Like so good.
Sometimes when I’m tired or feel drained, I have found that feeling anger or jealousy helps me feel alive or energetic again. A little surge of juice. So I found myself seeking out things that will make me feel this way. Check out the Facebook page of someone I am in an argument with. I gossip, I spread negativity because for that split second, I do feel energy again. I feel alive. Oh my god, did you hear what they said to her… But that only works briefly, then I feel more empty than before. So I seek out more gossip. SERIOUSLY? They slept together?! I wondered how he got the job…I revel in someone who I envy stumbling.
And it can be a vicious cycle. It’s easy to gossip or make others feel bad. Everyone loves juicy gossip. Everyone loves to find the chink in the armor of the person on the pedestal. Makes them human, makes you feel like you could be their peer or better than them.
In many religions, Judaism for example, gossip is an unforgivable sin. Not only because it’s doing intangible damage that can never be undone to the person being gossiped about, but because of the damage it does to the person who is gossiping. The smaller you think you are making the person you are gossiping about, the smaller you are actually making yourself. The more empty and ugly.
I think we shouldn’t let ourselves fall into the cycle. Don’t give them that power over you. When you feel like being negative, you sit in that uncomfortable dark place you are feeling for a minute, take a breath and ask why you feel the way you do.
Ever notice that we rarely gossip about people we don’t feel threatened by?
Allow yourself to be in a bad mood, then go out and do something lovely for someone you have never met nor will never see again. Or my favorite thing to do is, reach out to the person I am most jealous of, and compliment them. Admire them outwardly to someone else. And then I feel free. I realize that jealousy actually has no power over me, that I do admire that person, and see why I admire them and what I can learn from them. Because you can learn something from everyone. And I feel lighter and brighter and have now most likely connected with someone that I can learn from which puts me on their level rather than keeping me below them.
It’s tough. It’s a conscious choice to push through those ugly dark thoughts. The knee jerk, instant gratification response is to feed the ugly, dark side. But I always feel better if I resist temptation and keep my mouth closed. Always. We will never be done working on ourselves. We will always be a work in progress. Which is exciting right? That means we always have the potential to be better. No matter how extraordinary you are right at this very moment, and believe me, you are pretty extraordinary, (seriously, have you seen yourself lately?!) you can always be even more so. And no one benefits more than you for striving for that goal. ISN’T THAT EXCITING?! It’s all in your hands. You have all the power. ALL THE POWER. Now use that power for good and make me proud.