#Instafake: “What’s Your Number?” (Part 1 of 4)

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As an actor we all brace ourselves for the summer months when the industry slows down. Most of us know that this is a good time for reflection, maybe taking up a hobby, producing that webi you’ve been dreaming about, or even getting out of town. Unless you’re one of the lucky few that booked an awesome feature or pilot that shoots in the summer months, you may be feeling May/June/July Gloom.

I decided this would be a good time for me to go and seek a “print agent.” Having done mainly commercials, film and TV work in the past, I thought maybe this would be a good time to tackle a new adventure (semi acting biz related) and hopefully make some extra dough. Now when I say “print,” I mean lifestyle, commercial, young mom with her kids at Target print. I’m in no way trying to walk a runway or work on my Blue Steel face. Having done some print in the past, I felt this was an avenue I could definitely tackle.

I got a lovely referral to a very respectable agency and the meeting was set! I was very excited since I was very much in a “just for fun” mindset. I didn’t feel that pressure like when you go meet with a new theatrical agent or manager. I genuinely had that excited, happy feeling like when I first moved to La-La-Land at 19. Sighhhhh.

As I walked through the beautiful glass doors of said agency, the receptionist greeted me with a warm welcome and handed me three pages of paperwork to fill out. Three pages for a print rep meeting? Okay, maybe this was like a pre-contract. They must already like me- no biggie (bless my sweet naive heart). The first page was basic information: address, height, shoe size and all that other necessary print jazz. Then as I flipped to the second page and looked down, my “just for fun” mindset quickly turned into agony. The questionnaire literally asked, get ready…

YouTube Channel:    Number of subscribers:

Instagram:                 Number of followers:

Twitter:                      Number of followers:

Pintrest:                      “

Facebook:                   “

Vine:                           “

Snapchat:                   “

tumblr:
                        “

You get the idea….

YouTube Channel subscribers??!! I think I have 4! Instagram followers? Wait I think I have tons of those… like 2500 or something. My Facebook Fan Page has a few too- maybe 1500? I’m all good. Or wait, AM I? Are these numbers low? No agency has ever asked me to write them down. Do they really actually matter… especially for “just for fun” commercial print work? I got so thrown off by the questionnaire that as I continued to fill it out, when it came to the question “Have you ever been convicted of a crime,” I circled a big YES! OMG. Noo! No, no, no! I then quickly scratched it out, double-circling NO! Awesome. Now I looked like a criminal in hiding. As I sat there waiting for the agent to come out, I composed myself and thought, “Agnes, you’re fine. You may not have 500K followers, but you have credits. You just did a recurring role on a HBO show, you can speak three languages and you’re dogs will always love you. Put this in perspective and handle your shit.” Before I could put on my best fake smile, I heard the lovely receptionist’s voice say:

“Agnes, they’re ready for you.”

To be continued….

Agnes Olech

About Agnes Olech

Agnes Olech was born in Bielsko Biala, Poland. Now settled in Los Angeles, she loves spending her free time being outdoors and hanging with her dogs. She is an avid runner and animal advocate. She eats at least two avocados a day and hopes to have at least three avocado tress when she grows up. Agnes can be seen in Season Two of HBO's acclaimed series True Detective. She also recently appeared on ABC's Castle, guest starred on CBS's Intelligence opposite Josh Holloway, played Gerty alongside the very funny Adam DeVine on Workaholics and starred opposite Rob Lowe in the comedy web-series Butterfinger the 13th. Other TV appearances include FOX's New Girl, CBS' Rules of Engagement, General Hospital, and Comedy Central's Reno 911. Her dream is to make people laugh, and her motto for life is “Imagination is everything.” -Albert Einstein.