#instafake: “The Infamous #selfie” (part 3 of 4)

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Catch up with Part 1 and Part 2 of the story.

I got in my car and pulled away from the agency’s pearly gates. Then I drove about three blocks away, pulled over in some fancy residential Beverly Hills neighborhood and started snapping away. I was eager and desperate to post a fab selfie that instant (no pun intended). Besides I did get all fancy and dolled up on this particular day. There I was sitting in my car taking pictures of just myself…cool! I have never felt more vain in my life. What initially started as a meeting to keep busy during slow acting season had quickly turned me into a complete, self-absorbed narcissist.

I took about fifty pictures to get one that I finally felt was “cute” and “just me out on a busy day.” I had become that girl: the girl that’s trying way too hard; the look at me girl; the “please validate my life by liking my pictures and following me girl.” I kept looking around to see if anyone was watching me. I was very aware of how ridiculous I looked. What was I doing? I’ve never been this person before. Why did I suddenly feel the pressure for likes and follows on a superficial media platform? Did I suddenly feel like I wasn’t enough? Was it wanting the people in our industry to look at my social media pages and think I was “on my way to stardom”? Was it wanting to be part of the cool kids club? Whatever it was, I didn’t care at that moment, and I was determined to make it work.

In the following days after I met with Sally, I hit that post button hard. I went on a hashtagging binge. I tagged everything from #actress to #blonde to #hollywood. Let’s face it- I was desperate. And you know what? It was working. The more I posted and tagged, the more followers and likes I got. It became a little addicting. I spent the next few days constantly looking for Instagram-worthy opportunities. Instead of enjoying my Griffith Park hikes (where I even had a rule to never take my cell phone with me), I was snapping away at every turn and tree branch. I even made my poor dog model for me… as if he gives two cents about any of it.

And the worst part is: I cheated. I was a total fake. Again, for every good selfie posted that week, there were fifty others that didn’t make the cut. Each picture had been put through a filter, and most were even photo-shopped (standard Instagram etiquette). Even when I said I was busy running around town auditioning, I wasn’t. For example, in a post that said, “Best part about acting is the ability to time travel,” I used an old pic from an audition I had months ago and put a cute comment on it. What it really should have said is, “Best part about acting is being able to post an old pic of me as I sit on my couch in my pjs.” The more likes and follows I got, the worse I felt. This was not the croc-wearing, frizzy-haired, zero-ducks given Agnes I knew. This was a version of me I wanted to world to think I was. I had completely lost myself.

 

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Agnes Olech

About Agnes Olech

Agnes Olech was born in Bielsko Biala, Poland. Now settled in Los Angeles, she loves spending her free time being outdoors and hanging with her dogs. She is an avid runner and animal advocate. She eats at least two avocados a day and hopes to have at least three avocado tress when she grows up. Agnes can be seen in Season Two of HBO's acclaimed series True Detective. She also recently appeared on ABC's Castle, guest starred on CBS's Intelligence opposite Josh Holloway, played Gerty alongside the very funny Adam DeVine on Workaholics and starred opposite Rob Lowe in the comedy web-series Butterfinger the 13th. Other TV appearances include FOX's New Girl, CBS' Rules of Engagement, General Hospital, and Comedy Central's Reno 911. Her dream is to make people laugh, and her motto for life is “Imagination is everything.” -Albert Einstein.

  • Shelli Boone

    Love this woman! Thanks for sharing!