As Filmmakers, Actors, heck, as humans we face a massive amount of disappointment in the form of rejection. Rejection of our ideas or our performances can feel personal. Here are 5 ways to cope with those horrible, but inevitable, bouts of the word “no”.
Know it’s not personal 99 percent of the time.
I know that you have heard this many, many times. It’s not personal. While that’s not always the case, it’s the case 9 out of 10 times. It’s not that you are a bad person, unless you are and in that case reflect and change that. No, it’s not that at all.
There are a million factors that can cause you not to get the gig or make that festival. And sometimes it can be helpful to list them to remind yourself.
For example: If you are an actor and you are up for a role, factors besides your performance or your talent that can cause you not to book the role include:
- Investors, they may have an opinion or a preference based on name talent and their connections with the company.
- Chemistry. Some people hire their friends cause well, it reads amazingly on screen, and also who doesn’t want to hang out and give opportunities to the people they love.
- Social Media following. Yeah, I know it sucks, but its the stupid truth of our life. 1million followers vs 2K, well one of them has a heck of a leg up.
As you can see there’s a million and one reasons to get the job. Which when you get the gig makes it even more precious.
I love the Calm app or the Breathe app to help you centered and allow you to reflect. Mindfulness is more than just trendy, it really helps you get your head back in the game.
Help from your core.
Reach out to your core group of friends or family about your rejection and your feelings. Let them support you and encourage you. Cause let’s face it, you need to hear out loud that they are stupid for not choosing you.
Is there a way for you to get notes on why you didn’t make the cut? Was it your social media following, there’s something you can do about that? Was it purely that you were too tall? Nothing you can do about that. So just get your ducks in a row and plan out your next move.
Submit two more.
An amazing book I read called “Big Magic” by Elizabeth Gilbert discussed how for every rejection letter she got she sent out two more. The Industry is more than just who you know, it’s a numbers game. So, send out to two more festivals, go on 8 more auditions. Whatever you do get back on the horse and ride it into battle.
Remember your rejection stories are gonna be really amazing for your interviews after you win your Oscar.