I am sure a lot of us in “the biz” have felt like wandering souls at one point (possibly all the time). We’ll try everything. The West/Best/East/Left/South coasts – singing, acting, dancing – bartending, LOTS of bartending, school, more school… we are in and out of it all trying to find our “path.” I’m here to tell you 1.) YOU’RE COMPLETELY NORMAL! and 2.) Try it all!! You will never know what ANYthing is like unless you try it. If I could give you one tip: Do what feels right. If you’re afraid, even better! We don’t grow as people unless we face our fears.
That being said; I am a singer/actress/dancer from the Boston area that moved to Los Angeles after majoring in musical theatre. I wanted to focus more on acting for the camera. After 3.5 years I moved back home. I told myself I didn’t want to be “struggling” anymore. I wanted stability; I wanted to make lots of money, maybe start a family… or something… sound familiar?
For the first time in my life I felt like I had given up on my dream and it wasn’t pretty. I was miserable. I was fighting the ONE thing that made me the happiest – singing! Everyone tried to keep track of all my new random jobs, the classes I would take, and all my left field ideas. I legit told my parents I wanted to be a dental hygienist at one point. My father lovingly said, “So, wait, you now want to clean people’s teeth for the rest of your life?” Right……
Luckily, for a friend’s birthday, I went to a new live music venue in town and asked to sing with the band. They ended up hiring me and so the re-birth to my dream was created. It was an extremely pivotal point in my life. Fast forward 3 years and I wanted more. I was sooo ready for more. This was my hometown, and while I was thankful for the experience, I had no desire to “end up” in my hometown. I finally sat myself down and said, “go back to LA, live in Boston, or try New York City.”
For those of you who don’t know me well, I am a girl who nevvvvvvvvvverrrrrrr wanted to live in NYC. Too many people, too dirty, cluttered, expensive, hate the winter, etc. etc. but bottom line, I just wasn’t ready for it. I had to go through all that other “stuff” to realize, “wow, look how much I’ve learned!” I also had a breakthrough. I finally burst my cloud of “I’m not good enough.” I became present and started SHOWING UP. Another secret: As long as you think you’re not good enough, you’ll always be right. I promise you. Stop believing that story YOU made up!
Sign up for The Landmark Forum. Trust me. Just do it. This is actually what cleared my cloud. I am forever grateful to my wonderful friend, Lydia, for sharing it with me. It was the final push I needed to make my comeback.
So if you’re looking for comfort/courage/clues, tune in to my Making a Comeback blog each month, and feel free to ask me anything. I’ve tried and experienced A LOT and I am more than happy to help and share if/when I can.
Xo